Early last year I interviewed a group of men on the opinion about women, weight and their self-esteem. The mixture of responses generated quite the discussion within my inbox with a few requests of the female response. It’s taken some time but I figured it was time to honor the request.
Meet The Women of this ASMT Response: Jessica, Chime & Jasmine!
First off, being that you’re all of different shapes, sizes, heights, and so forth, how do you feel about the responses Gregory and Kachi have provided in reference to their significant others build? Would you yourself prefer if your significant other was a little bit on the chubby side or had a slim build?
Jessica: I am not 100% shocked about their responses, although I do think Kachi’s response was a tad bit harsh and disheartening. I know I am going to seem somewhat hypocritical with this statement but… I would prefer if my significant other was more so on the slimmer side. I personally would not date someone who is chubby (that is just me). It is just not something that I would be attracted to. However, my answer does not come from who/what I should be seen with in public, just my physical attraction to someone.
Chime: I love that the guys response were honest. Personally, I love a man that’s in shape. I now love to workout so I would rather a man who was more on the fit size. Now, a little bit of meat is cool, but one of us has to have a flat stomach and fella it is YOU!
Jasmine: I feel that their responses were honest and probably common amongst most men their age, for the most part. However, Kachi’s response bothered me, to no surprise. You would want to fornicate with the curvy girl but wouldn’t dare be seen in public with her, Womanizer. Personally, I would prefer if my significant other was neither chubby nor boney. Ideally, he would have an athletic build and be in good shape. Health and fitness is something that is very important to me and I live a really healthy lifestyle, so I would hope that he would be on the same page as me or somewhere close.
Do you feel forced to meet the standards put forth by these men, do you hold men to the same insane standards? Lastly, would you say you have a type? If so, do share!
Jessica: I do not feel like I am forced to meet the (insane) standards that these men have stated. There is a person out there for everybody! Aside from that, men always seem to place these high standards on mountains that they have no idea how to climb. I just take what they say with a grain of salt. Most of what is expressed are comments used to impress their friends. They hate skinny women and next thing you know they are with someone as skinny as Mary Kate and Ashley. They hate thick women and then they are the new president of a Chubby Chasers site.
Chime: Absolutely! Growing up in the times we are in now is hard. There’s pressure to look good IN clothes, OUT of clothes, hair and nails done, etc.
Now I want a guy with a nice body. I would hope if that’s what I want that at least my body is nice too. Growing up overweight wasn’t too bad for me in my day but kids are so brutal now! A lot of men like women with nice bodies and I have to say it motivated me somewhat to really go hard in the gym. Although, physically I have a type but if the right nice guy comes along and is a little pudgy that’s okay too… but we are going to the gym together ASAP buddy!
Jasmine: These men? As is the ones who answered the questions? No. Men in general? To a certain extent. Everybody wants to be wanted and accepted, whether they admit it or not and some more than others. It is normal to want to be liked and if there is something that you could easily alter in your favor then there is nothing wrong with that, but it is when these alterations consume you that it becomes a problem. If the man you are pursuing typically prefers tall light skinned women and you are not exactly tall and on the darker side, it is cool to wear some high heels when you see him but don’t go start bleaching your skin every night!
Yes, I hold men to a standard; however, I don’t think my standards are insane. I guess these standards would depict “My Type”-
Some of these standards are deal breakers: he must be educated, intelligent (and no, those two do not go hand in hand), ambitious, then there are the cliché things like honesty and loyalty. He must also be a good communicator or that’s a dead end. Last but not least, he must be physically attractive (to me) call me shallow if you want but I do not want to wake up every day to someone I am not physically attracted to.
My other standards are more so preferences: Tall (taller than me in heels and I’m 5’10’’ without them), Dark and athletic.
Is that too much to ask for?
Do you agree or disagree with the responses provided for the question “Have men contributed to society’s growing number of women that hate their bodies because they “do not live up to the typical man’s standards?”
Jessica: I do agree with most of the responses but then again we as women have to be accountable for how we feel about ourselves. We cannot keep giving men this much power over us that we adjust to THEIR expectations or wants. I think it’s time that we look deep inside ourselves and pull out that much needed self-esteem or that “Nobody is going to tell me what to do, I am fabulous” attitude. Men can tell you that you are not what “society” is expecting of you, but who cares? If you are not dating them, then so what? It is his loss not yours.
I was “thick” and recently lost 15 lbs because I wanted to be healthier! Although some of my friends do not like it and some others do, at the end of the day I feel great! I still get numbers boo boo so I must be doing something right!
Feel great about YOURSELF because how you feel about you is the most important thing!
Chime: Yes and no. I think SOCIETY not just men have contributed a lot to the self-hatred of the body that a lot of women suffer from. If your significant other is always looking at Victoria Secret models and saying how much he loves them, wouldn’t that make you want to look more like that? I also think that women break each other down way worse than men do. We need to uplift each other! Instead of telling THAT girl she’s fat and needs to get her hair done, make a positive suggestion. Invite her to workout with you, find something about her to compliment. I also believe mothers play a major role in this too! I never hear or see enough moms uplifting their kids with positive words. Tell them they are beautiful everyday, so that the one day someone calls them ugly, they won’t even react.
Jasmine: I agree with some of their response. Yes, men are contributors but they are not the only contributor and they are not the biggest contributor. The media is the biggest contributor; the media has an immeasurable influence on the typical man’s standards and everyone’s standards or preferences for that matter. The media depicts the “perfect girl” as well as the “perfect guy” and we are constantly exposed to those influences so it is inevitable.
And there you have it! The women have responded (again)… What are your thoughts?
Where can you find these ladies?
– Jessica: @JUSS_JRICH
– Chime: @Supaahstar
– Jasmine: @Jazz_Pitts