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Heart vs Mind

Written 1/07/2014


 

I watched this video during my two week break from work these past holidays. First thing that came to mind: Cute. Yet again, another gorgeous woman telling us to listen to your heart, and showing us that she dealt and got over heartbreak within less than a year. She also fed the crowd that her life is almost perfect now once experiencing the heartbreak.

Cute.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not dismissing her message at all. You don’t know the strength of your heart or yourself as a matter of fact, until it tries to grieve a loss. But life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows after, and most importantly you can not always listen to your heart.

I was the complete opposite of her, true definition of a hopeless romantic, I let my heart decide on matters of relationships and love. My mind took care of everything but that. But if I had allowed my mind to speak up for once, I would have ended relationships earlier instead of allowing them to drag on with my heart set on possibilities. I would have realized and acted upon getting out of relationships that were bound to end when red flags were shown from beginning, versus relying on the hope of the heart, listening to the bullshit I was fed, and ignoring the inconsistency.

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think anyone should completely follow the heart’s pangs, because your heart is a hopeful little bastard. It will lead you over the rainbow into the trenches of unchartered territories  and if wounded, it will  leave you there. You need your mind to balance out this little hopeful ticker, to remind you of your well being and your self-worth. You need your mind to remember not only the good times but the absolute fucking bad times. You need your mind to tell you the truth of your reality, even if it leaves you laying tearful on your kitchen floor.

I think this may have been my biggest struggle of my early 20’s, learning to let go of the hope of my heart and finally listen to my brain, but we all have to start somewhere right? Take it from someone who figured out this trick a little too late.

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8 Comments

  1. I learned very valuable lessons about love and the heart in my early 20’s. I don’t know what it was but after the disaster that was my second relationship ever, something snapped in me & I became more aware. It’s difficult for me to even ignore little things, because those little things can turn into something far worse sometimes. I cannot ignore red flags and I feel like if I’m going to allow someone into MY life, I’m going to make sure they fit the way I need them to. Life is too short for possibilities and “projects.” And we all know a majority of people love taking on projects. People are suppose to grow together and learn from one another. One person isn’t suppose to carry the burdens and weights that come with relationships and unfortunately, that’s what happens. That’s what makes heartbreak so terrible. You’ve been working so hard and in the end, without even knowing it, you feel so unappreciated and hurt about everything you put into it. That hope you had is extinguished and that hurts also because in hoping all of that time, you were actually working & you come to find that hope actually got you nowhere.

    1. Oh my goodness, if you were around 3 years ago! I couldn’t have said it better myself. I also realize now that it’s not as hard to make a relationship work either, it’s so fucking refreshing :).

  2. This is sooo true. It is so necessary to listen to both your heart and your mind. One or without the other is useless.

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