I really like the new look and feel of your blog, it shows that you have matured but I don’t think you’re being very honest. I take your long pauses between posts as you hiding things, and your whole “be positive” act just doesn’t seem very genuine. Where are the Honesty Hour posts? You’re having a bad day post? Those were the posts that made you feel real to me. Knowing that I’m not the only one trying to find happiness in my dark life is comforting.
I’m replying on my blog because you didn’t leave me with a real email. This is not to attack you in any form.
ell first off thank you for the compliments and honesty. I appreciate you as a reader, and I love that someone outside of my best friends and family can see that I have “matured”. Did I mention that I truly appreciate you honesty? I am flattered that you could relate to my “Honesty Hour” posts, and even the posts where I highlighted my battle with negativity. I wrote those posts not only for an emotional release, but in hopes that it would show folks who were too afraid to speak up about their ‘down time’, that they were not alone. But why can’t my positive posts apply to you too? Better yet, why does this all come off as “not genuine”?
You’re absolutely right. I am going through something right now. I’m getting my “phenomenal” back, as Dee would say, and it just so happens to result in a new positive outlook on my life. I still have shit days, trust me when I say life has been trying to humble my ass in every way possible, but those shit days are more like a shitty few hours. There came a point in my life where I would constantly question, “What exactly are you so sad about? What are you so afraid of? Don’t you want to live life?” I could answer these questions… but still not take action against it. Until recently.
Why can’t one choose to have a good day? Why can’t one work towards it? I know, how difficult it is, “to choose positivity” but it’s easier to do it than to sit and contemplate it. Contemplating just wastes valuable time and then eventually psychs you out. You’ve just honestly have to trust the process of being positive and tip toe your ass in. It’s why every now and then I yell, “Who gon’ stop me?”
Not only that, I recently decided to remove more individuals from my life, a few quite deserving, some others… it just needed to be done. For a few days I tortured myself with, “While they’re happy together, I get the short end of the stick and I’m miserable.” Then it dawned on me… they could care less whether I was happy or not… their lives still go on, and I’ll quickly become an after thought, so why let these people rob me of my happy? They’re just people, and the world is full of so many more, why let these folks who I removed for the sake of sanity and less negativity dictate my happy? Why give people that kind of importance? What makes them so special for them to have such power? They’re not special. You’re special. You’re Phenomenal Yetti, and they’re just… people.
And that was the end of the that.
It’s a struggle to change your thought process, you’ve been thinking a certain way for all your life! But it can be done. And maybe I should elaborate more on what I have been doing in order to make this change in my life, but I wanted to let you know that I’m still Yetti. I’m just a little more positive, and little more careful about the words I affirm into this world that seem to impact my life. I still sometimes expect the worst, but I’m now very hopeful and certain that positives do exist in my life. I still have a few self-deprecating behaviors, but the knowledge of my potential is at it’s all time highest. I still have moments where I get down, but I have far more moments where I am happy and thankful for the littlest of things.
“Change your thoughts, you change your world,”
I really hope you read this, and I really hope you respond. You can email me directly [firstname.lastname@example.org]. I promise not to bite, and I promise you are not alone.