There is something about a fresh new year that sparks even the most harshest of resolution protesters to reflect on the year they just had. I’ve always been one of those people that was somewhat against new year resolutions. I believe goals and resolutions can be made at anytime of the year, and we should always strive to better ourselves in all ways possible. But as I get older, and the more my wants and needs change, I find myself wanting to be more intentional with the life I live, the space I keep, and the experiences I welcome.
And what did I learn this year? That there is nothing more important than my peace of my mind.
Here are the top three things that I am leaving in 2018:
Friendships that no longer serve me.
In late 2016, I ignored the inklings of distancing myself from someone who honestly just sucked my energy dry. If it wasn’t unnecessary arguments brought on by insecurities and other bullshit, it was me walking on eggshells trying to avoid unexpected emotional landmines and other bullshit. When 2017 came around, I knew I wanted the friendship to end, my therapist confirmed it needed to end, I just couldn’t figure out how to do it. But in the end, the eventually pulled the plug on the unhealthy relationship, and the relief that came from her petty text message? It was confirmation that my peace needed to take a higher priority.
Since then, I’ve been more cautious with who I call a friend, who I let into my life, and who I continue to allow into my space. I no longer want to feel guilty about making connections that begin fast and sizzle out even faster. I no longer want to maintain one-sided friendships and force something that just isn’t what it was before. I don’t want to feel the pressure to remain in contact with someone I’ve outgrown or brings toxicity into my life. It’s just not worth the time or hassle.
Saying yes when I really mean no.
- Don’t invite me out with less than a week notice. And when you do, don’t let it be a nightclub.
- No, I don’t want to go hiking or camping. I don’t do well with bugs, and I don’t even fucking like grass.
- Yoga is for people who care to be flexible and lean. Look at me, do you really think this is a good idea?
- No I don’t want to set up a conference call, because everything you just said could have been said in a damn email.
- The Bank of Yetti is closed. Indefinitely. I have no money for you.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
I know people are probably tired of hearing me say that I launched a set of affirmation cards this year, but getting them off my computer, through editing and production, and finally into my home office took six years. Six years filled of 33 different designs and concepts and six whole years of extreme self-doubt. Yes, I’m a wellness creator that pushes self-care and self-love, and I hasn’t yet mastered getting grip on my inner mean girl.
Want to know how badly my inner-mean-girl runs rampage? That bitch made sure I didn’t sleep for 26 days leading up to the launch of the affirmation cards.
I’m tired of constantly questioning whether I am good enough or worthy enough or hippy enough to relay the fundamental messaging of mental-wellness, or even sharing my own personal journey. I’m tired of the typical path of being nervous, over thinking, and then chickening out. To be honest, the only reason these cards even came into fruition is because once I place something on a to-do list (in this case my 30 by 30 list), I pretty much bully myself into getting it done. And guess what? I’ve officially sold out of my first batch. So the for next few things on the YS product lists, I want them to be created out of excitement, courage, and certainty. And not with fear and doubt in my heart.
A few others:
- Murky boundaries
- Lack of discipline
- Putting other people’s needs before my own
What are you leaving in 2018 and what are you making room for in the new year?