The Women Respond: Let’s Talk About Sex Baby! Part 2

And we continue with Part Two! [ Click here to read Part One! ]

Quick Tidbits

• You’re casually dating a man. Do you insist he wears a condom?
  • Nadine: I don’t casually date but I prefer no condoms, so at first I would insist and I think we would ease our way out of them eventually.
  • Michelle: Condoms. Always.
  • Vanessa: Depends on our relationship/history.
  • Yve: Yes, always.
  • Brittany: Casually dating, I always wear a condom. I don’t risk it.
• Do you think women are capable of having sex with no emotions?
  • Nadine: Yes I do think women are capable of sex with no emotion, I would also argue those women are usually the promiscuous ones.
  • Michelle: For most women, absolutely not. Especially if the dick too bomb.
  • Vanessa: No but we can pretend it doesn’t exist until it disappears. I did it for 5 years.
  • Yve: Yes, but not as skilled like most men are.
  • Brittany: I do think woman are able to have sex with no emotions, it’s rare but totally possible.
• Size… does it matter ladies?
  • Nadine: Yes size matters, I didn’t realize this until I had a small one.
  • Michelle: Yeah, it matters. No woman wants a microscopic penis. But if he’s not the biggest and he can still satisfy me, I can work with that.
  • Vanessa: Yes, oui, si, and yes in every other language.
  • Yve: Eh, to an extent. It’s more about him knowing how to use it.
  • Brittany: Yes, size matters. Next question.
• Foreplay, necessary or nah? 
  • Nadine: I feel it is necessary especially for women for obvious reasons. Foreplay turns me on, its necessary for me.
  • Michelle: YES. YES. YES. WDMD?
  • Vanessa: Very necessary.
  • Yve: YES! That may be the difference between 1 or multiple orgasms!
  • Brittany: Foreplay is one of those things that matters depending on the setting. At home, yes! A quickie before work, or in a public setting, no!
• Sex 3 times a week? Or Less?
  • Nadine: Sex 3 times a week if you aren’t living together seems sufficient and reasonable, that number seems a bit low for couples cohabitating though.
  • Michelle: 3 times a week is cool assuming we have the time and energy. I don’t mind getting laid whenever. But sometimes I may just want my feet rubbed, ya know?
  • Vanessa: 3 times a week? A week has 7 days! Be productive.
  • Yve: In a relationship, sex 3 times a week or more seems healthy to me.
  • Brittany: Sex 3 times a week in the beginning is normal for me… but from experience it may happen once or twice if were lucky, life is unpredictable.
• What are 4 things men do that are turn-offs during sex.
  • Nadine: 1. Pushing my head down during oral sex / 2. Excessive grunting or high pitched moans / 3. Not taking control / 4. Bad Kisser (I like to kiss before, during and after).
  • Michelle: I only get to name 4? K. 1. No foreplay / 2. Being selfish and only being concerned with his nut / 3. Not listening to directions / 4. Asking me to say his name or asking whose pussy is it. (It’s mine, I’m just letting you visit for a little while.)
  • Vanessa:  1. Telling me to call him daddy / 2. asking me if I like it / 3. finishing too quickly / 4. not being aware of what he is or isn’t doing.
  • Yve: 1. I’m not calling you daddy, I already have one / 2. Being selfish / 3. Being lazy / 4. Excessive talking
  • Brittany: I only have two:  1. When they stop hitting the spot you are asking them to hit / 2. When they’re lazy and do not change positions.

Are there any sex expectation that you may have after the first date? If he aims for the first date hook up, are you willing, are you skeptical, or are you shutting him down for good?

Nadine: My first dates usually occur after weeks or even months of texting or communicating in some form, I guess that’s is my initial screening process to see if I even want to go on a date with you. I prefer to feel a man out, get to know him a bit before we are in one another’s presence in a romantic capacity. This “pre-date” phase usually takes the nervousness out of the actual first date for me but even via text the chemistry we have in person is very important and is the ultimate deciding factor on whether I will choose to pursue this further or not. I’ve had situations where we’ve texted for weeks, went on our first date and I decided it wasn’t for me and just stopped responding to a guy.

As for sex expectations, I’ve never gone on a first date expecting sex, I barely go in expecting a kiss so sex is the last thing on my mind, I would honestly feel disrespected if a man even tried that with me on the first date and would most likely be an automatic deal breaker.

Michelle: I’m not having sex on the first date. Period. I know some men feel like after they take you out and wine and dine you that you owe them sex. No. Grow up. I’m not “paying you back” for doing exactly what you should be doing and that’s earning me and the right to get in my panties. A lot of men feel entitled to your vagina and behave as if you’re SUPPOSED to give it up when they’ve put in little to no effort to get it. One dinner or movie won’t do it for me. If he tries to initiate sex on the first date, I’m saying no and I hope he can respect it. I expect a man to be mature enough to understand that when the time comes for sex, we’ll get there if that’s in the cards for us. Don’t put expectations on me and make me feel pressured, because I won’t deal with that. (And don’t send unsolicited dick pics, because that’s just tacky). I also expect a man to understand that I’m looking to settle down now. So if we’re not like minded in working towards a relationship, my legs and mouth aren’t opening, even if it’s the 33^rd . Simple as that.

Vanessa: I think I know pretty quickly whether or not I want to do the nasty with a man I’m dating usually, before the first date is over but I would never make the first move in fear of being judged or rejected but even if I wanted to and he made a move I’d probably put on a front and say “no”. That’s just how I am, I don’t want to make a decision based on how horny I am because that usually doesn’t end well. Not that I know or anything *insert laughing in tears emoji here*

Yve: I encourage a guy that I am with to be honest with me and to tell me what he wants. So in return, if he tells me he wants to hook up or have sex during the first date, it may not happen but I won’t make him feel like a creep for telling me. It just tells me what he expects and where his head is at.

Brittany: I’m super observant, I’m really reading his body language. I prefer for a guy not to come onto me during the first date. I really want to get to know you, pick your brain, see if you can make me laugh. I always judge a guy by his cologne. If he’s wearing something I like, it’s a turn on and therefore I put him in a category of “potential”.

I did hook up once after the first date, however it was a unique situation. We were friends and talking for quite sometime. We both traveled for work and our schedules never really aligned to spend time together. After months of trying to coordinate something we were able to get dinner and drinks and there was so much built up attraction, that it happened after the first date. I never say never because there really isn’t a cookie-cutter answer to anything in life.

All the men stated being too self-conscious or too coy as being a turn off. Do you feel completely comfortable during a hook-up? Do you have moments where you’re shy and feel slightly uncomfortable?

Nadine: My self-conscious days were more prevalent after I had my child. The changes to my body made me very anxious when it came to sex. As time has passed, I’ve gotten over those insecurities and accept my body for the refurbished dopeness that it is. And honestly, I’ve come to realize that men don’t give a damn about a lot of the things us women beat ourselves up about. I am 100% sexually comfortable with my partner. It’s honestly the dopest feeling to completely let go of every little physical flaw you fret about on a daily basis while letting your mind and body drown in intimacy.

Michelle: I think everyone is nervous to some degree during a first time hook up. That’s really the only time I’m a little self conscious. But once we explore our chemistry and learn each other, all of that goes away. At times, I’m self conscious about this small stomach pudge I have. I could stand to get in the gym on some weights and tone up. But I’m learning to accept my body and be comfortable with it. And that’s what matters. Confidence is the key. And if the person you’re with loves you and your body, there’s no need to be shy or hold back. You can let go and be naaaassssstyyyyy. Let him lick chocolate syrup off your pudge, girl. Tell him to motorboat that butt. You’re welcome.

Vanessa: All the turn offs the men stated in their answers are very understandable. I don’t like excessive talking either, Rudny. If I am hooking up with you, then I am already comfortable with you (or extremely drunk that’s the same thing right?). I think the only time I feel a moment of insecurity is when I am trying something new and I’m afraid I’m not doing it right. I don’t watch enough porn, I guess.

Yve: I agree that being too self-conscious or too coy is a turn off. You have to be comfortable during sex. Uncomfortable things have happened. You have to laugh it off and keep going! 😉 You are already so vulnerable as a woman being penetrated, don’t add anymore layers of insecurity to that. The key to sex is that you are having it with someone that you trust, are in a relationship with and they care about your body as much as you do.

Brittany: I’m comfortable with who I am and my body. We all have our insecurities but confidence is sexy and will never stop being sexy. The trick is to either work your ass off to get the body you want or learn to love the body you have.