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To The Girl Who Expects Others To Love Her More Than She Loves Herself 

Written by Brianna Peña for YettiSays Self-Love Month | “To The Girl” post series

[Tweet “Strides are beautiful, but so are baby steps. — Brianna Peña”]


To the girl who expects others to love her more than she loves herself, 

            I know this might sound a bit strange, but thank you. Thank you for being so damn resilient and allowing life to teach you all the things we already know, but have sadly been so disconnected from. Thank you for fighting so hard to see the light at the end of some of the darkest tunnels and thank you for standing so strong in your power and showing up for yourself even when you can’t fathom the thought. Let me start this by saying that you are so fucking magical and deserve all the beautiful things this life has to offer. Yes, it’s unfortunate that your definition of love was defined at such a young age and to your surprise shook your entire existence in your adult life, but honey, we are here. We are growing, we are learning, we are healing, and the evolution continues.

I know how bad you’ve always wanted to be accepted, loved, and treasured by others, and it is a battle that you’re still fighting today, but every day you are learning that happiness is homemade. And yes I do mean your actual home, but I also mean your actual home — within. The home only you have access to. I know that home may not always feel the warmest or the safest, but that home is yours and has everything you need in this life to not only be the best version of yourself but to love yourself more than anyone else in this world has the capacity to. With love, healing, and an endless amount of compassion for the woman you are right now, the woman you were yesterday and the woman you are blossoming into — I am so sure that your home will be the warmest, safest, and your favorite place to reside.

Give yourself more credit mama, you made it almost a quarter-century, you’ve had your heartbroken, you’ve lost and let go of women in your circle who you considered sisters, you birthed and are raising an entire human being and you always pick up your broken off pieces so gracefully. One of my favorite writers Alexandra Elle once said “You don’t have to beg, plead, or chase your people” and as you grow older and more time passes, this message becomes more clear. There ain’t no one in this world out there worth chasing if they aren’t adding to your life in a way that contributes to your healing and growth and that is a big fact. I know you’ve always longed for sisterhood and friendship, but the truth is — as long as you’re actively and intentionally pouring into your own cup and focusing on your own journey, those people will come. It’s very easy to be let down because it’s too easy to expect shit, but that stops here.

Everyone has a story and you, my dear, are no different. You have moved mountains, created magic from absolutely nothing and have continued to rise from the concrete over and over again. Stop begging others to love you, baby girl. I love you and in time I promise that will always be enough.  

Love,
Self 

 

Brianna Peña of Bee.Serene Photography
instagram 

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4 Comments

  1. Beautiful. I remember this feeling all too well. I am blessed with age, a lot of therapy, an amazing partner, and creating my chosen family by surrounding myself with love (read: got rid of the negative bullshit in my life and created a beautiful safe space for myself and family and no one is invited unless I invite you). Know that you are good enough and my wish to all girls and women is that they feel whole. Fuck the rest. Don’t waste another day thinking you deserve less. Much love to you.

  2. This feels like I wrote this letter to my younger self. I could relate from start to finish!

  3. “I know how bad you’ve always wanted to be accepted, loved, and treasured by others, and it is a battle that you’re still fighting today…” Loved this paragraph. Happiness is homemade <3

  4. “I know how bad you’ve always wanted to be accepted, loved, and treasured by others, and it is a battle that you’re still fighting today…” Loved this paragraph. Happiness is homemade <3

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