Written by Ashleigh Owens for YettiSays Self-Love Month | “To The Girl” post series
To The Girl Who Is No Longer Attractive To Her Man
You had every right to be angry when he finally admitted the truth. You were triggered. Triggered back to the times when you were made to feel crazy or insecure for asking about things you knew to be true. You asked. He denied. You asked. He denied. You asked. He finally told the truth.
And it fucking sucked.
You often have to go to battle in the dark and twisty parts of your mind so of course, you held onto hope that what you were feeling wasn’t the truth. You hoped that it was your own insecurities projecting onto him and felt an enormous amount of guilt and shame for this.
But you knew the truth. Deep down you always knew.
Trust your intuition when it tells you it’s not all in your head. I know he said it wasn’t a factor, I know he told you you could gain 100 more and still be attractive to him. But again, you knew the truth. You knew when he wouldn’t touch you. When he’d pull away quickly from a spontaneous embrace. When you’d try to initiate sex and he all but said no.
You can’t fault him for his preference–you knew his type when you met him. But, you don’t have to internalize or be a replica of that preference. You are beautiful darling, whether your dress is a size 6 or 12.
I want you to stop punishing yourself. Stop lamenting over the numerous times you skipped the gym, or the days you ate way too much. I know he told you you lacked effort. But you know the work you have, and continue to put in. Lose the weight for you and you alone. Go at your own pace and do it in your own way. Besides, you are a whole ass woman. Your weight will fluctuate. You will have babies. You may get sick again. An injury can occur. Life will change and so will your weight.
You all are working through it, and some days are better than others. But always remember this about YOU. Your wants, needs, and deep desires. You are deserving of it all. And don’t fret if it ends because somebody will love it.