“Why are you single Yetti?”

Seven.

[Written 8/27/2013]

Seven times is how many times I have been asked this question in the past month. Seven motherfucking times. Strangers, co-workers, family members, friends that aren’t really friends… SEVEN DAMN TIMES. I am so sick of this question. It’s beyond irritating. I didn’t realize until a few weeks ago how often I get asked this question and how much I truly, honestly hate it.

Don’t ask me that fucking question. Don’t fucking do it. I will not respond with a pleasant answer… or a serious answer at that..

Because I am a cannibal and I am currently seeking shock therapy to control my terrible flesh-eating urges.

Not only is it none of your business, but seriously, what kind of question is that?

• Why is your foot a size 6.5?
• Why is your skin a beautiful chocolate brown?

I will answer this question once and for all, and that after that I will brutally bludgeon anyone that asks this question, and then smile within my mugshot once arrested. Just kidding.

Yetti, why are you single:

– Because I know what I want. I know what I want in a boyfriend and I simply have not found him yet. I see my peers embark on these 2 to 5 month relationships, or relationships that they know will not last. Why are you wasting each other times? It’s called dating Yetti. I know what dating is, but I will only date you if I can see you in my life for a considerable amount of time, If I mesh well with you, and do not want to smash my phone every time you text me “what’s up?”, that’s a good start.  I’m for gaining experiences. But I am also against wasting time.

– Because I’m tired of settling for men, that are settling with me. If I’m not what you want, keep it pushing, I am no ones place holder or fuck buddy. Spare me the mental abuse I’ll put myself through once you find what you want and drop me. Been there, done that, never again. I was told I was considered as someone’s 20% a few months ago, it hurt like hell… I vowed I’d never be nothing less than a 90% to a love interest. Ever. Or a 100% on a good day, simply because my friend Richard truly thinks I could be.

– Because I want that spontaneous, out of the ordinary, only he and I understands the attraction, kind of love.  I am about to be 25… and I have never had someone truly be in love with me. Like a no questions asked, I love everything about you, kind of in-love. I am a hopeless romantic, give you my all, love you for you kind of girlfriend. A stay up all night if you need me to kind of girlfriend. A give you my kidney, invest in your dreams and aspirations, move for you kind of girlfriend. I think I deserve that back, because honestly? I am a damn good girlfriend. I love hard, simply put. What I give to you, I want at least 75% of the treatment back. No half-assing at all.

– Because I’ve only known one man that has been willing to understand my behaviors and still loved me as is…while helping me to conquer my fears. Even my obsessive habit over my weight and appearance. The Prince in my life, my little brother. Two came close I suppose, this great guy that now lives in Santa Monica who I couldn’t accept really liked me for me, the other great too, but just incompatible. I am a handful. I know this. My male friends tell me this. My exes tell me this. It’s hard to come across a man that can match my hustle and accept all that is crazy me. But I will wait till he comes around, because Daddy says he’s out there.

– Because… I’m working on me. I think that’s more important than a relationship right now. I am learning to take care of me, and I kind of like it.