Guest Bloggers Takeover // Your Support System Ain’t Sh*t

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There are approximately 1,027,452 things I could tell you about your support system. I could touch on how valuable it is. I could point out how it provides you with positive peer pressure. I could indicate its role in picking up the pieces of you that go crashing after every breakdown.

But today I must tell you the universal, fundamental truth: your support system ain’t shit.

This isn’t one of those “na-na-na-boo-boo, my clique better than yours” posts, either. I truly mean what I say. So say it with me: “My support system ain’t shit… If I don’t let it be.”

Raise your hand if you’ve (over)used the term “team player” when describing yourself in your cover letter and/or resume. Keep your hand up if the only contribution those useless goats you called a “team” made to your life was a half-empty glass of disappointment. I hear you. You like to get shit done and get it done right, and most of the time that means getting shit done alone.

If I knew even a single damn thing about basketball, I’d make a slammin’ analogy here about lay-ups or something. Just googled the layup, literally the opposite of what I’m trying to convey. The alley-oop is the move I was looking for (thank you Google gods). Alas, I am ignorant to the game.

So I made zero points with that analogy. Let’s bring it back in. Your support system ain’t shit if you don’t let it be.

The web of people I include in my support system is amazing beyond belief. It’s laced with friends, family, and even acquaintances who just want to see me be great. As amazing as they are, I spend more hours, days, and weeks than necessary feeling helpless and alone. The truth is that I can have the whole world riding behind me, but if I don’t tap one person and let them know I’m falling, I’m going down without a net. I will crash. I will burn. And there may not be anyone there to extinguish the fire.

Help is not hazardous to the total package persona. You can be the whole package and need help, too. Being the lone ranger, sole member, and total DIY-er is glorified today. It’s like a badge of honor to say how exhausted you are from doing one thousand things in one hour without any help. But being the whole package doesn’t always mean going it alone. It means having a whole brain and whole feelings and knowing to listen when they cry out for help. It’s knowing when to lean on your best friend or call up your mama. It means resting on your sister’s shoulder and maybe even sucking your thumb as she gives you a new perspective on the trials of your life. It means trusting someone other than yourself to help handle what life throws at you. Because even you, Ms. Superwoman, get tired.

You can have the whole world at your back, ready to support you at a moment’s notice, but that means nothing if you don’t reach out. Be great, but let them be great too. Lean on them and love them back by letting them cut you a little slack.

Look around at your support system and remember they ain’t shit (if you don’t let them be.)

xoxox

Ro


 

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3 Comments

  1. God, just read this & thought “THIS IS THE OTHER BEST THING I’VE READ IN AWHILE,” & of course it’s by the same author as the first one. New favorite writer? Dingggg.

    Also, this sentence: “Help is not hazardous to the total package persona.” It’s so difficult to remember this. I grew up with a single mom who hated asking for help, which I never understood – except now that I’m an adult, I find myself doing the same thing. I have to remember to give myself the same advice that young me gave my mom: There’s no shame in asking other people for help when you need it.

    1. 😀 *beaming!*

      I’m the same way. It is literally a daily struggle to remember that I can (and often should) ask for help. I’ll probably write this same note-to-self one thousand more times before I truly get it.

  2. I liked this post, except I’ve learned that even when you do reach out for help folks are so self-absorbed they are unable to. After a while you just accept that all support systems aren’t created equally.

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