- Host 2 Events
- Grocery Shop at the Grocery Store down the street
- Take a gym class at a very popular gym
- Travel on my own for the weekend
- Attend an afterwork event in NYC
- Pitch an idea
- Party TWICE in NYC
- Take a 30 minute walk at a park
- Make a Friend.
This is the list I made for myself at the beginning of April because I grew extremely tired of being afraid of my surroundings. I know I have mentioned it before, but I’ve never truly gone into depth about it. I have social anxiety. It’s probably a few steps below severe, but it’s as active as ever. It only appears sometimes, but when it does, my God… it’s full blown. It results in anxiety attacks, shortage of breath, dizziness and this fear of wanting to do anything.
But here’s the catch… it’s only in New York. You may laugh, but I have tested this out… multiple times actually. Once I leave the state I’m regular charming Yetti, that’ll go to the mall on her own, the gym on her own, maybe even take a walk or go to a bar. But in this city, if it’s not for work or something that’s a mandatory part of my routine… I will not leave the house without a lot of convincing, a prayer, and possibly a friend.
For example, little secret. If I did not invite a bunch of people over for my birthday, I probably wouldn’t have even celebrated it. I made arrangements so late, didn’t plan on an outfit… that’s how badly I didn’t even want to leave my damn apartment. Even for “Yettember”. I’m not much of a “partier”, I don’t drink, but I like to dance. But in order to dance… I need to leave the house. But I don’t really want to leave my apartment. Are you seeing the irrational dilemma here?
So I created the above list to attack the fuckery, as I do with all of my problems. I really only have two options here: be afraid to live my life in NYC or use the power of yes, and get over this hump. I chose to get over this hump with a few challenges and a few steps used within cognitive behavioral therapy, but I also wanted to open this up to others who follow my blog. Everyone has fears or maybe even a few doubts and bad habits. Join me in making a change, I’ll even throw in a little prize for an assentive. I’ll post the deets on Monday, and we’ll get to work on our life improvements.
I will document when I cross something off of the list, I’m already in the midst of conquering some of these, so I’m off to a good start. So those of you who suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and any other life draining fears, join me in saying “Fuck That.”
I will, if you will.