* Written by Natalia Amador for YettiSays 8th Annual Self-Love Month | “Shedding Layers” Post Series
It started when you were really young.
You were just a kid.
This shapeshifting of yours and your ability to change to fit in.
You’d stare at the TV screen with your big brown eyes.
Seeing the girl who would be your next disguise.
Immediately after, taking on her persona, and defining who you’d become by what you saw with your big brown eyes.
Always dreaming, wishing, escaping.
Coping, hoping and playing pretend.
Never really getting to know the person that was within.
It came from the desire to find your place in this life.
It came from the desire to hear your father say “I’m proud of you” for once in this life.
It came from the desire to flee the moments that no child should ever have to see.
And through it all a chameleon you came to be.
Never knowing how to be yourself and look in the mirror to a reflection that should be the same.
But it’s okay because you didn’t know, how brave it would be to own this persona that is your own.
And then find yourself at 28 years old, having to go on a journey of self-discovery and owning your true form.
Shedding all of the layers that came to be.
Shedding all of the past versions that were holding on so tightly.
Finally ready to let them go.
Finally ready to make yourself your home.
Such a funny place to be.
Where it started and now we’re coming full circle and making home your own.
Who are you?
It’s the question that you’ve spent the past 3 years defining.
Each step of the way learning more about yourself and refining.
This woman in the mirror and who she wants to become.
Forming that from the woman she actually wanted to be all along.
Brave, independent, and fierce.
In her own way, she was the woman she saw through the tv screen in tears.
Fighting your own battles and dragons.
Slaying powerful forces and facing each challenge.
Falling in love and getting heartbroken.
Witnessing things that will never be spoken.
But knowing that it was you who was fighting all along.
Not all of these fake versions of you, because you…you are so strong.
Now you know and are ready to become.
The true you, that you were all along.
Letting go of chameleon Nat.
And embracing the true you, the brave you, the courageous you, the strong you, the independent you, the true you.
The little girl who just wanted to be loved for who she was, all along.
Love her, deeply, gently, sweetly.
Just Nat, perfect for who she truly was all along.