Second I Love ME Entry comes from Jessica, an unofficial part time twitter comedian. I came across Jessica’s tumblr a few weeks back and I actually used pieces of one of her posts here. Her tumblr writings touch upon various topics (relationships, hip-hop & society, etc)… anything that inspires her write, which is exactly why I asked her to participate. Though she may have you laughing hour after hour from her sometimes controversial tweets, she’s not afraid to express herself… and stick by it when others disagree!
– Name: Jessica (Jess for short)
– Age: 22
– Occupation: Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Office of Human Research Studies Associate.
– Your Passion: I have a passion for giving advice. Making people laugh also seems to be a skill of mine.
– Random Fact: I did gymnastics for quite a bit of time (4 years) and loved it.
Do you think you have great self-esteem? If yes, was there a time when you didn’t and why?
Ummm well I think there is always room for improvement. When society changes, your self esteem has to kind of change with it. Things that were not so accepting last year may be more accepting now. The times I had the lowest self-esteem were my high school days. It’s hard to find strength when the same people you see everyday belittle you everyday… for four years of your life. I was skinny not that curvy and I had acne that I still struggle with today. You the struggle with questions such as “What do I do to become more popular?” and “What do I do to get men to like me?”. It’s really hard trying to fit in into high school, because no one really knows the meaning of acceptance because it changes every year and we look towards the people with the most friends to answer that question for us.
I think the reason why my self-esteem was so low was because I gave meaningless people meaning in my life. When you add fuel to a fire what happens? It grows. You take away its oxygen what happens to the fire? It simmers. I let words with no weight weigh heavy on me and gave people with no voice a microphone and a speaker. The point I am trying to make is I gave people who changed who I was too much credit and importance, when I really should have just taken everything that makes them important away.
What do you think is the most attractive thing about you and why?
I think the most attractive things about a person are the things that people can not see. That’s what makes a beautiful person. A nose can break, an ass can be gone next year (unless you buy another one) boobs can sag and those curves can turn into shapes you don’t like (like a circle) but your mind and your heart will always last forever. What I find attractive in myself is my intelligence. There’s nothing like a smart woman. Although she may do stupid things from time to time, an attractive and funny woman will always shine brighter than those who are unintelligent.
Do you sometimes feel the need to conform to society standards (Physical and Non-Physical)?
When we conform to society, we have to pick and choose what we really want to conform to. I can sit here and give a political answer stating everyone is beautiful and blah blah blah… but I won’t. I do feel people should take care of themselves and shouldn’t be overweight. Its hard not to conform to society’s standards of beauty when we have celebrities being idolized for being fake. Let me ask you a question. Since Nicki Minaj came out, how many girls have you seen with the straight bangs in the front and the long hair on the sides? I’ve seen a lot. We give too much credit to stars who look just like us without PhotoShop and being air brushed. We can’t hold standards of beauty to those who have money and make up artist on call 24/7. I would look like Beyonce too if I had the money she did. I feel like with men drool over these women, we as women feel we need to look like them.
In terms of women with low self-esteem, who’s to blame: Her or society?
I feel that we can only blame society for so much. Changing how society views things is a VERY VERY slow process but changing how you react and accept certain things can be done rather quickly. You know society’s standards (well most of you do), if you love yourself and who you are then they shouldn’t matter. Self esteem has to do with yourself. Simple and understandable. You can’t save the world, but you can save yourself. If you think you’re great but society says “No, you’re not,” who cares? What people say about you shouldn’t matter if you’re not benefitting from the comments. If someone does not have a say, why give them reason to speak? Don’t put people on a pedestal if they have no reason to be there. You wouldn’t take a random fan from the olympic crowd and put a gold medal around his neck for doing absolutely nothing right? What has he done to actually earn that medal? How much hard work has he put in in order for him to be worthy of wearing that medal around his neck? How many nights did he lose sleep over the race he had to run in order to win this medal? The answer is none, nothing and nada. So why give him the medal? That’s the approach you should have towards people with negative things to say about you. You choose who affects your self esteem not everyone else.
If there were one thing you could share with the many women who suffer from a lack of self-worth and self-esteem, what would it be?
The one thing I can say is that days, months and years get better once you love yourself and move on. Don’t let people enter your life that you feel could hurt you. You all are beautiful people, you just haven’t taken the time to find that out about yourself yet. If you hold your head high, you can see more obstacles to avoid in your life. There will be rocky roads but you can always turn down smoother side roads. People will sometimes knock you down but you can always get up to live another day. It may rain somedays but it will never rain forever. We can’t let one negative comment bring our day down when we have 900 positive comments holding us up.
All in all, give those with importance in your life more importance than those who don’t. Stay calm, breathe, and ask yourself when someone has something negative to say about you, “Who are you to me?” If you can’t fully answer that question then let it go.
You are an amazing person you just need to believe it’s true.