Sarah, may be one of the few women that I have worked with and thought, “Damn it, I think I’ve met my match.” Check out her entry below!
- Name: Sarah
- Age: 25
- Occupation: PhD Student in Electrical Engineering
- Your Passion: Helping other people to excel
Do you think you have great self-esteem? If yes, was there a time when you didn’t and why? If no, why not? And what are you doing to work on it?
Yes I think I have great self esteem, I love myself, but that doesn’t mean I’m not self-conscious about certain things. I used to be extremely self-conscious about my appearance and I’m still pretty self-conscious about my weight. I think that actually contributes to why I think I do have great self-esteem, because not matter how uncomfortable I was or am with my weight, , I’ve never questioned my value or hated myself. I’ve worried about how others would perceive me at times, but I’ve always been able to, fortunately, accept that my strengths have value. With things I’m self conscious about, I try to find a balance of ways to be more comfortable where I am and to change to be where I want to be. I’ve gotten better about choosing clothes that are more flattering where I am and started making incremental changes to lose weight. I know that I don’t deal well with dramatic change and there’s a lot of things I do that I’m not willing to give up, so I’ve made small changes that will help me get where I want to be gradually.
What do you think is the most attractive thing about you and why? What do you think sets you apart from other women? What’s special about you?
Physically, I get complimented on my eyes a lot, personally, I love my hair, but I think it’s really my enthusiasm that sets me apart and makes me special. I’ve always been one to ‘go all in’ with things I do and as I’ve grown I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to support myself by doing things I really love. I try to demonstrate and share that enthusiasm with others as much as possible and, I think at least, this is perceived well. I find confidence and happiness attractive and I think at least some other people do.
Quick! You’re having an “ugly” day, what do you do to cheer yourself up?
Honestly, sometimes I’m ok with “ugly” days. I’m as good at complaining as anyone, but that’s just my way of not internalizing things, I actually usually look for the positive in situations. With “ugly” days, it’s that they encourage me to just sit and focus on my work, since I don’t want people to see me, I don’t want to talk to them either and I’m able to channel that into productivity, which in turn makes me feel better. If however, it’s a day I have an important meeting or presentation and I can’t just embrace the motivation to hide, I turn up my radio and dance around my apartment while I spend a little extra time on my hair and makeup and pick out the outfit that best balances cute & comfortable.
What is your take on making physical and non-physical changes for your significant other (if requested, of course)?
I think positive relationships can and should include helping each other grow and recognizing areas for growth is an important part of that, which can come as a request for change. However, if a request was made that I didn’t agree with or it was made in a way I wasn’t comfortable with, I’d probably (and have previously) consider it grounds for dismissal. I like myself. I know I have things I need to be better about, but I don’t need to be nagged or bugged about them in negative ways.
In terms of women with low self-esteem, who’s to blame: Her or society?
I think both play a role, but I think the most blame should be placed on those close to her. Chances are, their opinions of her matter more to her than strangers and the things they tell her carry more weight. Being surrounded by people who love you despite your flaws and help you see that is important.
If there was one thing you could share with the many women who suffer from a lack of self-worth and self-esteem, what would it be?
Combine efforts to be happy and love yourself as you are with efforts to be the person you wish you were and your results will probably be better overall, but definitely more satisfying. Societal ideals are just that, they’re not actually expectations for every individual. We have a bad habit of combining the best things about a number of people and thinking that we need to beat every single one of them. Striving to be better is great, but you’ll be better at it if you’re comfortable, happy, and thinking clearly when you start.
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Jaida – I Love Me Post Series (Part 4)
Toun – I Love Me Post Series (Part 4)