Can you breakdown, take off your strong “I am fine” outer layer, expose all the things that make you vulnerable, and then leave it all on in a personal essay for others to read? Roconia can. My favorite phrase of 2015 was the phrase, “a beautiful mess,” and that’s what Roconia shares on her personal blog, EverSoRoco. Yes, she shares the hardships of mental health, 20-something-living, and past heartaches, but she paints beautiful pictures from them, providing color and shimmer to the things we fail to acknowledge. Meet Roconia, the creator and founder of Moredinary.
Alright, RoCocoa… I mean Roconia, tell the YS readers in a few sentences who you are!
I’m Roconia. Sometimes Ro, sometimes Roco, and clearly sometimes RoCocoa. I’m the writer/blogger/creator/ storyteller at eversoroco.com and mother to Moredinary (moredinary.org), an organization dedicated to raising women’s self-efficacy.
What made you decide on personal blogging?
I don’t think I really had a choice. I remember writing my first post with utmost urgency. It was way past my bedtime, but I had to get it out. I signed up for Blogger, set up my blog and got to work. I blogged with and regarding purpose that night and have done so ever since. Any other kind of writing (news, entertainment, fashion) just won’t do it for me.
You have opened up and discussed quite a few tough topics on your blog. Which post was the hardest to write and why?
There’s this one, detailing my childhood sexual abuse. It was uncomfortable to put the experience into words, but I knew I needed closure and I knew I’d get it through writing.
Then there’s this one, reliving the death of my favorite aunt. I had no intention of ever writing this story but after three years it started to eat at me. So one night I combed through my journal for the most poignant points about her life & death and wrote my heart out. That is still the only post I can’t read through without crying.
Let’s talk Moredinary! How did the idea for this organization come to light?
Running Moredinary is literally exactly what I’ve always wanted to do. I just could never put it into words before because it was something that the world needed, and not something that we already had. Moredinary utilizes every single one of my best skills from writing to event planning to creativity to connecting with humanity.
You remember, Yetti. Spring 2015 at at Mimosas & Men, when I might have had a few too many mimosas and told you I was going to do an event & call it Moredinary? That’s when I got the last piece to the puzzle.
I fortunately had the chance to attend you first Moredinary event, “She Who Believes,” and it was everything and more. What do you hope your participants will take from your upcoming events?
Renewal. Renewed faith in womanhood, renewed faith in themselves, a renewed desire for life, renewed excitement. I want, I need, for women to believe that they are the women of their dreams.
2016 has just begun! Do you have any new projects up your sleeve?
But of course! WE are working on Think This Way, a Moredinary & Certified 10 collaborative event. I’m also watering a few other secret seeds. I’ll keep them under my sleeve for now.
What words of advice would you share with your 16-year-old self about self-esteem, self-worth, and of course, surviving these transformational years?
Have mercy, Lord. Sixteen year old me. I loved to read so I’d probably write me a letter.
This is your last year of feeling like you for a while. Enjoy it. Ms. Carey was right. Those were early signs of depression. Don’t be afraid of it and don’t believe the hype; blackness does not exempt you from depression. And don’t be mad at Ms. Carey. She’s your favorite teacher and she told because she cares.
Things are going to get unbelievably ugly for you, Princess. It will take you eight years, but you will finally learn to weather every single storm on your own two feet.
You’re already showing vital signs of passion and purpose. Keep doing those video projects. Keep writing. Try not to spend next year wishing you were anyone else. Stop clicking through everyone’s Freshman Year! albums on Facebook. It’s not helping.
Your body is a lot more beautiful than you’re willing to recognize and soon, but not soon enough, you’ll come to terms with it and stop regarding it as a traitor.
And Ro? No one really tells you this (yourself included), but I love you. I really do.
Catch you in the mirror!