Out with the old, in with the new.
That age old saying doesn’t ever get old to me. In fact, it’s on my mirror in my bedroom and on my wall at work. Have I mentioned “Houston”? I think I have, she’s one of my friends here in NYC… and it’s kind of like I’ve known her all my life. We’re quite similar, but at the same time SO different, she brings out different qualities of me and teaches me so much about myself.
It’s sounds like we’re in a relationship, huh?
But yes, Houston and I are were taking our typical break from work and she brought up a really good point about certain situations happening within my life, and how I should embrace this modified Yetti that is beginning to form.
“The choice of wanting this better life is not difficult; remaining consistent to sustain this life is the challenge. It requires much to stay there; many times as humans we are afraid to do things differently. In this new space we grope for old things, ways, people.”
That’s exactly what I have been doing, groping to for old things. I have met some pretty awesome people here in NYC, I don’t think I can fully explain it. But it scares me, because now a handful of old friends have become distant… and it’s kind of my fault for a few instances, for others, I can finally see that they were terrible friends to begin with. There are some friends I truly do feel I could live without, but there is this guilt that settles within me. I’ve kind of cut off 4 friends in the past couple of months, and the new ones that I have formed make it so easy to keep these people a thing of my past. Does that make me a bad person? Because I kind of feel like a traitor.
I think it’s the holding onto memories of when we were good friends, I don’t know, 4 or 5 years ago, that makes me feel guilty. But with everything going, everything that is changing, there are very few I still mesh with. There are some that refuse to accept that I am indeed a different person, there are those who I think we just interact because we’re part of the comfort zone we’ve formed and then there are some who do not bring shit to the table but negativity and a lack of reciprocity but the possibility of them being a good friend again lingers.
Something is shifting us to another realm. We are afraid to accept it.So we distance ourselves from our breakthrough. We aren’t ready for our new reality. Something wants us to leave everything behind, start anew. Walk in our new reality. Under divine assignment, the hardest thing to do is to tell people you love you are leaving them. We have to leave our mundane life to achieve our unprecedented life.
Yes, I know fear is crippling, but I feel like this is… I don’t know… something of it’s own category. I’ve already made my decision on what I am going to do, but being completely okay with it is another story, I just know it’s the right thing to do… guilt and all.
You have not lived until you have experienced messing up something beautiful.
*credit to Houston for the quotes.