Kike*, know that things are always well with you. I pray and fast for your everyday. For your happiness and your peace. But the key to those things is just being thankful. When you wake up, say thank you. When good things happen, say thank you. Even when it’s bad, say thank you. Your thank you’s are prayers, so always remain thankful to receive more bountiful blessings. – Grandma.
Let’s be honest here. I was a little afraid that my 30’s would be a repeat of the fuckery that was my 20’s. Heartbreak, followed by shitty mistakes, followed by a bit of self-loathing, and a bunch of fleeting happy moments. I was afraid they’d be filled with deep sadness and fear. That they’d be run by that constantly ticking clock that reminds me that time is running out. I was awaiting the increase of the unnecessary pressure I put on myself to get shit right. And then there’s my silly habit of waiting for the absolute perfect moment, body, and all of the above to actually celebrate and live life.
In other words, I was fully prepared for it to suck.
But the universe (and then eventually me) decided we would do things.
This year was about pouring into myself. My wellness. My happiness. My dreams. I began the year with a panic attack over the launch of my new affirmations cards, and I will end it with the excitement of the launch of my second set. I invested in myself and my business and secured myself a kickass, supportive ass, fly ass, business coach that pushes me daily to own the magic that I am. I am finally doing something with my God-given gifts, and I can’t even begin to describe how good this feels. I upped my therapy days because healing is so important to me right now and I needed all the support in the many transitions the universe is me pushing to. I joined a gym that didn’t leave me anxious in the midst of equipment and gained the supportive family I didn’t realize I needed. Being healthy doesn’t have to be a burden. I learned to be thankful for what I have while working towards more because my Grandma taught me that our thank-yous are our prayers. They let God know we are ready to receive more.
30 was about getting into alignment and doing the work. The hard work, not the “for show work.” It was about taking how I want to feel in life and making sure my actions, words, decisions, and relationships reflected it. I created boundaries against those that sucked my soul fucking dry. I got real with myself and others about the shit I was battling instead of cowering behind them, keeping them secrets. I feel in love with the girl I see in the mirror because after spending so much time trying to change and fix her, I decided maybe it’s time to do the opposite and just love her down exactly the way she is. I got into a morning routine that centered me with spirit and made me fearless in the midst of disasters. And I spoke to myself with kindness because I know firsthand now from all the miracles of this year that when you are friendlier with yourself, your surroundings become friendlier with you too.
I know it’s cliché to say that 30 was my year, but 30 was my fucking year and I don’t anticipate for the magic to stop. 30 helped me to relinquish the timelines and to finally enjoy the ebbs and flows of life. Yes, I have my goals. Yes, there are things I want to accomplish, but I’m no longer about blocking my own blessings by forcing together puzzle pieces that belong to completely different pictures. 30 helped me see that the way I love and care for myself will always evolve and will require new methods and levels of craftsmanship. 30 was the catalyst to much-needed growth and shedding. And I don’t expect 31 to be any different.
This year I will not be fearful of what is to come, because finally I understand that my life is mine, and I have a say in what this year will be to me.
Happy Birthday, Phenomenal Yetti. I’m so damn proud of you!
*Kikelomo is the name my Grandma gave me during my naming ceremony when I was born. (Nigerian Tradition) I’ve actually never heard her call me anything else.
The mission self-love cards are now available for pre-order. You can order your new favorite deck here!