I met a little girl on the subway the other day. She was no older than 6 or 7 and had the energy I wish I had right at this very moment. She told me all about her day at school, about what she did for her mom of Mother’s Day and about Josie her best friend. She even told me that the next day was going to be “The best day ever” because of the plans she and Josie had. As I got up to exit the train after the most stimulating conversation I think I have ever had with a 6 or 7-year-old, her mother gave me a smile and a thank you.
But I really should have been thanking her. This little girl was a reminder of how easy life could truly be, and her happiness made me happy. I know it seems a little silly and bit too simple but it really did.
A few weeks ago, a third of my trio underwent emergency surgery. The missed calls, the what’s app messages, the text messages … I almost had a heart attack walking through Bryant Park. My phone was on silent, I was dealing with my own share of bad news and I had just left the doctor’s office. It just wasn’t expected. When I spoke to her I remained calm, that’s our dynamic. Delli is calm & nonchalant, Dee.. is not, I adjust my tone to theirs. She made jokes, complained that she was hungry, made it seem like it was teeth cleaning and that was that. We waited all night to hear from her as Diana rearranged work trips and frantically looked to book a flight. And then finally the following day, surgery began.
I did everything to remain calm, I zoned in at work, stalked my phone, and then when that didn’t work… I asked my mentor/ co-worker to pray with me. I’m not very religious, and I usually don’t turn to prayer, but this was so much bigger than me. Even though I knew she was okay, and that she would be okay, knowing the possibilities had me so far on edge… I actually turned to prayer.
And that’s when I realized nothing else I was stressing mattered. Not my overbearing job, not the mess of She’s A 10! and not even my own health issues. All of that was so small… so not worth worrying about when it came to Delli, her health and this surgery. And so I prayed, and so did my co-worker, and then the ease settled in… shortly before I too found myself at the ER… but that is besides the point.
I know I said before I didn’t know where my good mood came from, but I do, it came from this. I don’t know how permanent it is, but so far I have been able to just live… not worry about things that are beyond me and I’ve been able to experience things my mind and stress wouldn’t dare allow me to before.
We spend so much time worrying about all the things we need in the future to be happy and how the past didn’t turn out how it should have, yet we can’t spend a little time to appreciate the joys in our lives now. It sucks that’s how most of our minds are built, mine especially. It took a simple text of “Emergency Surgery” to remind me of how wonderful my friends are, and that their love for me and my love them are greater than the “issues” I have stupidly given importance to in my unstable mind.
See how simple life could be if we were just happy and grateful for now… our present?
Delli, you are incredible. Diana you are so much stronger than you know. We’re beyond grateful to have each other.