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“You know Yetti, you’re striving for all of the wrong things. Your focus can’t always be on building your brand. This is why you don’t have a fiancee yet.”
“I thought I had a lot of problems to work on. But Yetti, you have a lot. What the fuck is your therapist doing?”
These were the words that came from two different heated discussions with friends. The first one came from me refusing to go on blind date I had never agreed to in the first place. This was her lash back. The second one, I had fucked up. She had fucked up. The blame game was served and a trust barrier was damaged on both ends. I could have responded the exact same way to the both of them. I could have picked at their flaws and things I see as questionable behavior, because we all have them. I could have. But I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t because thankfully I’m no longer the type of person that goes blow for blow.
Instead, I chose to take the words in, assess if there was any truth to them, and if there was, I’d evaluate it accordingly.
I’m the first to say that I am a flawed individual. There are bits and pieces of me that still do not connect. I’m aware of the qualities that people will take advantage of. I’m aware of my tendencies that will deter people. I’ve written the book on the characteristics that can often be viewed as either over the top or even deprecating. But I refuse to allow those who are not me to delineate what makes me “imperfect”.
For years I tailored my behaviors for other people’s likings. I trusted their view of me over my own perception of myself. I chose to handle situations the way they saw as fit. I took on an attitude of being in your face to match that of theirs. And somehow down the line, I began to denounce the characteristics that make me, me.
Such as being “emotional”.
Or a “perfectionist”.
Or “too giving”.
Or being a “fairy-tale believer”.
And the list goes on. But somehow over the past two years I began to find that these are pieces of me that I like, and then this year? I decided to fall in love with them. Because being “emotional” is what allows me to write from a place of vulnerability. Having the tendencies of a “perfectionist” is what makes me want more for myself, and to go about it in away that can not be labeled as poorly put together. Because being “too-giving” is what I like to call being compassionate, something many people lack and therefore lack the ability to truly connect with others. Or being a believer of happy endings, because there are days I need to fall on something in order to pursue these crazy dreams of mine.
Being imperfect is being human. Accepting the things that make you the person you are is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. Let go of what others think you should be. Take in only the truths about yourself that you know to be true and reject the labels and negativity other’s post into your life. Work on the habits that may be holding you back, and continue to look within you first, before checking elsewhere.We’re not comprised of sugar, spice, and all things nice. We come with ingredients that are sour to some tastebuds and sometimes cause an allergic reaction. Just face the fact you are an acquired taste, and that’s okay too.
So be imperfect. Embrace it. It looks good on you.