“Expect rejection. Expect doubters. Expect rough days. That’s all apart of the journey, it makes reaching the goal sweeter”
If there has been a theme to this year of blissful fuckery, this title would be it. With mistakes comes harsh consequences. With lies comes harsh realities and the truth in a blinding, unforgiving light. With success comes self-induced pressure and sleepless night. And when there is happiness, there is hard ass work.
Last week, I caught myself scrolling through a few Instagram accounts thinking, “God, these people have everything.” And then I caught myself reading through Forbes or Huffington Post, pondering how the hell so and so got to this point of success, when I do all of the same work and more. And then the sulking ensued. The to do lists of things I needed to do overwhelmed me, further creating more company in my pity party where I celebrated being behind on work, my new weight gain from my medication concoction, and shitty health and matching shitty bank account.
I’m not usually one for self loathing. Hell, I’m the affirmation queen, with a mean shimmy. But all of this focus on negativity and down moments had wallowing in the life I sometimes think I’m lacking, versus the abundance I already have.
I had to check myself and I remind myself that we live in a world where standards are dictated by people who don’t even know us. We live in a world that believes the number next to the heart under an Instagram selfie keeps us warm at night. We think we’ve made it when the twitter famous retweet us or favorite a tweet. And we measure each other’s happiness based on the life we choose to display on social media.
But that’s not happiness. That’s perception.
You see, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the lives of other’s, other people’s success, other people’s picture perfect lives. It’s so easy to cry out, “Why not me?” and wait for a blessing.
But that’s not how this works. If you do not make the decision to be happy, to live in joy, then you will lack just that. Happiness isn’t gifted to you. It’s not something that comes neatly packaged from the heavens above. Happiness doesn’t just fall into your lap. I repeat, that’s not how this shit works.
It’s a choice. A decision. A contract you make with yourself to live in light and experience bliss. It’s hard work as Ty from Gorgeous in Grey explained during the What Binds Us Together brunch. It’s you making the effort every single day to see the positives and not the negatives. It’s you turning your fuckshit moments into lessons learned, and pushing through with a hopeful attitude. It’s you putting yourself first, your mental health first, and making decisions that benefit you greater good. It’s you distancing yourself from toxicants, which simply could be your self-berating thoughts. It’s you reminding yourself every damn day that you deserve happiness and that misery is not a requisite of this thing called life.
We have to work for our happiness. Maintain our happiness. Nourish it with good memories and feel good activities. And if you need a little push, a little reminder that you deserve all of this goodness, look at yourself in the mirror.
Or you can email me. I’m licensed in tough love. Oh, and affirmations.