For Black Girls Who Can’t Accept Themselves

* Written by Alice Odhiambo for YettiSays Self-Love Month | “For Black Girls” post series
photography credit – Samuel Aboh

Dear Black Girl,

Accept yourself! I know the road ahead doesn’t seem clear, and you are unaware of what move to make but trust yourself. You will make it!

Easier said than done, but take it from me, one day the cloud above you will lift, and you’ll be able to see how high up the mountain you have climbed. No one said it would be easy, and I know it hasn’t been, but you have to keep going. No matter what they tell you, DON’T STOP.

Stopping will only overwhelm you. You will start to remember all the things you wanted and wished to achieve and haven’t. You will hear the high school bullies and family members’ voices telling you that you will amount to nothing. DO NOT – I repeat – DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. They are only projecting their insecurities on you. Only God has the power to define you!

Accept all that you have achieved and become. Acceptance means acknowledging your failures, hiccups, misjudgments, failed friendships, relationships, lost loved ones, and broken promises. Accept EVERYTHING that brought you to this very moment. THIS IS YOU!

In my 32 years, life has taught me a mind-shifting yet straightforward truth. Everything happens exactly how it is supposed to happen. The sooner I realized that, the sooner I said goodbye to anxiety, stress, and unnecessary pain. I found it easier to accept even the most challenging things thrown my way simply because it was supposed to happen. If it weren’t supposed to happen, then it wouldn’t have happened.

Free yourself from living in the should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. It’s a prison you don’t belong in, and the outcome will never change! Shift your viewpoint and ask yourself what have I or can I learn from this. There is a beautiful gem in every disaster; you have to train yourself to find and see it. Once you do, you will unlock a level of peace and acceptance that no one else can give, or take from, you.

This road to acceptance is ever-evolving, but here are some things you can start with accepting about yourself:

  • The strength and courage found in your DNA is your lineage of strong, powerful black women who have conquered this thing called life.
  • The depth and complexity found in your melanin are unmatched.
  • The way the meat and muscles fall on your bones is a work of art.
  • The intricacy of every hair follicle creates a masterpiece on your head.
  • The way your skin glistens in the summer sun and warms up the winter snow is priceless.
  • The potency of your smile brightens every room you walk in.
  • The aroma you leave behind is a reminder that you were here.
  • The consciousness and intelligence stored in your brain are uniquely yours. Use them to your advantage.

But most importantly: YOU ARE WORTH ASPIRING TO!

If you can’t accept yourself right now, do it for the little black girl lost in your pandora box rooting for you to win! She is worth it. I know that 6-year-old Alice is parading around Wonderland, telling everyone that will listen to her about all that I have achieved and accomplished at 32, and for her, I have to keep going.

You will learn that the journey to acceptance is uniquely yours and your blueprints will be unlike mine but don’t stay focused on the destination. You will miss the beauty of the self-discovery that happens every day on this journey. You, black girl, have already won.

In ALL things, give God thanks and praise. The journey to acceptance is worth it!

A fellow black girl rooting for you from dear old Wonderland.

Alice Odhiambo, Marketing Manager + Website Administrator


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