Ah, reflection time. I don’t think last year was my year in terms of writing, but it’s still amazing to look back at the work produced, and have the thought of, “damn, I wrote that?”. Here are some of my favorite posts below, and don’t forget to let me know what some of your favorites were too!
I’ll Talk About You, Dad // I can’t believe I am going to admit this, T.J. may actually kill me, but you kind of have a way with words. You just might be where I get it from, and to think, you only wanted me to focus on math, science and engineering, all the while you’ve had storytelling skills of your own.
But What If Love Doesn’t Come? // Because in 2015, it’s not uncommon to never get married and possibly become a cat lady. Because in 2015, finding a love suitable for a “happily ever after,” is being replaced with a 5 year stint ending in divorce. In 2014, we had women (who do not understand the meaning of feminism) screaming, “I don’t want a man.” And in 2015, we have men who are fed up with the shenanigans screaming back, “We don’t want you either.”
If You Don’t Scream, It Will Kill You // There are days like three Thursday’s ago where I took all the necessary steps to fall asleep on time and peacefully. Can’t forget that part. No technology after 10. Two 10mg melatonins. Light reading, followed by meditation, and a quick segue into uninterrupted sleep. Only it wasn’t uninterrupted because you made an appearance. Not a complete appearance because I’ve never actually seen your face. But I’m well acquainted with your beer stained breath, your fingers laced with a few callouses. And your voice. Cold, calm, and to the point.
When You Can’t Write // It feels like you’re failing. Not failing in this world of blogging, competing, and sometimes a sure lack of authenticity, but failing yourself because the world needs your words. The world needs your bottled up emotions, and the essence of your unapologetic truth that has clearly done more than simmered. It’s wick has no length. You’re failing a truth that is only ever set free through writing out your heart’s pangs, life’s fuckshit, and the unexpected happiness that surprises you from time to time by floating at the brim of your soul, screaming, “Release me.” So essentially, you’re failing your beautiful spirit.
I Want To Pray With You // I gave Jorge my hand, he smiled a wide-toothy grin, and he proceeded to pray in Spanish. He closed his eyes so I followed suit, peeking every once in awhile to make sure nothing crazy was going on. It didn’t sound as forceful as I expected it to. In fact, it was soothing, and oddly reassuring. By the time he ended with “Amen,”, I felt so calm that at that very moment, I questioned what I had been missing out on with this whole God thing.
Share Your Heart // Moe expressed that he wished he knew how to talk to her about her feelings. And that he wishes he knew how to express his feelings more when his children were growing up. Because then maybe Akil wouldn’t have felt the need to runaway after college, convert to Christianity, and change his name. Or maybe he and Horus would communicate more other than through texts, and the occasional family event or tragedy. Or maybe Layla would have said, “Baba, I’m sad all the time,” to his face, rather than in a card she left on their bedside table before taking her life.
Bring Back Personal Blogging // Blogging has clearly evolved since those days, and don’t get me wrong, I love what it has become and what it has enabled many of us to do today. It’s a multi-faceted community that without a doubt can not be replaced. It’s some writer’s bread and butter, and more recently, their stepping stone into beautiful opportunities. But at the same time, it’s over saturated. It’s dry. It’s more fancy pictures, and the selling of products. It’s look at me, I’m awesome, do you want to shop my look, or buy my PDF of tips and tricks you can actually google on your own for free.
Dear Year 28 – I’m Ready To Make Some Noise // Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Phenomenal Yetti. She’s incredible in her own questionable ways. But Phenomenal Yetti is not just Phenomenal Yetti. She’s Phenomenal Yetti 3.0 and she has been growing, and stretching, and evolving. And with all these changes that are happening to Phenomenal Yetti… I think I need to get to know this new version, so I can fall crazy in love with her, as I have done with the rest.
When Love Happens // Instead, I’ll show Petty Yetti to the door, because when love happens you do the unthinkable, like tabling your deeply-rooted pettiness or getting on your very open blog, the one you’ve avoided discussing relationships on, and tell the blogging world that you’re so fucking in love, that it scares and excites you every single day. Oh, and that it also makes you want to be a better human. Being a better person has become effortless with you, because when you’re finally in a healthy relationship, one is always compelled to learn to do mentally healthy things. And let’s face it, you deserve the absolute best possible version of me, because I know I am receiving the best possible version of you.
Black In Corporate America & So Very Tired // The first few times I attempted to write this post, the title was “Black in Corporate America and So Fucking Angry”. It was right after I found out I was being severely underpaid, and knew I wasn’t going to get the raise I had quite frankly absolutely deserved. The second time I attempted to write this was after my favorite coworker, Big Brother Tunde, had left the company, and I was now the token black being in my department. The third time was when they shot a man dead on the highway because he “looked like a bad man,” and not one person in the office acknowledged the tragedy.