Don’t Lose Yourself, For A ‘We’

“Yes, we’re moving to Lower Mills,” Greg answered for he and his wife, while Nadine rolled her eyes before replying,
“No, I like the suburbs.”
“There’s nothing here.” Greg retorted.

••••

And then the playful yet very serious discussion began. Greg made points about the commute to work and the accessibility to food options. Apparently, seamless and grubhub do not respect nor acknowledge their current living quarters. Nadine came back with the need for safety for their kids, and the simple fact that she’s comfortable on the outskirts. Greg has quite the strong personality. Trust me, I know. 12 years of friendship has taught me this. Nadine matches it. I don’t know her very well outside of the random conversations we’ve had through twitter, and my visits to their new home, but if there is one thing I can confidently say is, she holds her own against Greg.

I’ve watched them a few times, both the same playful nature, both with such a level of comfort, I mean… #goals. But what makes them stand out to me is the fact they both have their own identity, personality, and values within their relationship. Greg is still as stubborn as ever, (sorry GPL), and Nadine still has the not-holding-anything-back personality I was first introduced to. Sure, there have probably been some compromises and changes I and the world are not and should not be privy to, but to be able to remain you’re own person within a relationship seems to be a missing art these days.

During my high-school relationships I learned the art of compatibility. College? I learned to love selflessly and unconditionally. Now – late twenties? I’ve learned the importance of all the different parts that come with companionship. I learned in my early twenties to not place your happiness or your future in the hands of another, especially the hands of a significant other. I learned it the hard way. So in my relationship now, group think doesn’t live here, no matter how similar we may be. And though I will always be mindful of what he thinks and how he feels, 90% of the time I am going to do what I want. Because in the beginning there was only me. My biggest supporter, my confidant, my ace-boon-coon. Me. And if there is an end, I need to make sure that me is protected, and me, mind and body remains in tact. I think that in its self keeps a man entertained. You’re not predictable, you have your own will and mind, and you’re confident about it. And what’s more attractive than being your own person?

But not only that, one should never embark on a relationship when one themselves is not whole. Your partner compliments you, not completes you, so hold onto your individuality, it’s what caught his attention in the first place.