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#Dear20 – Emari Parsons – Your Gifts Will Be Used

[Tweet “Your progress is your progress. Continue to stay in your lane, and don’t ever underestimate yourself. – Emari”]

Dear 20-year-old-self,

I wish someone would have told you.

Before getting into that, it’s been almost 10 years. Wow! You are now 27 – full of life and love. Still determined and reaching for your dreams every step of the way. You are doing the best you can daily. Most importantly, you know your value and worth because of what your younger years taught you.

But, I wish someone would have told you that there was such racial tension out there.

That a little young girl from the hood of Canarsie, Brooklyn will be cultured shocked like never before. You grew up in an area which was predominately black, attended a diverse middle school and high school, but has never been put in a situation that made you felt like a minority. Going to school for Fashion Design at the Fashion Institute of Technology, you were one of maybe seven black kids who lived on campus. I know you felt so alone and insecure about something you couldn’t change. Through it all you got through your first year at F.I.T. The restless nights were terrible, but you found some pretty dope people to chill with by the end of the year. You survived it all. You also gained confidence from being put in that situation.

But I wish someone would have told you that if you don’t know your value you’ll settle for anything.

Love… not quite sure if you knew what that was. Constantly fighting battles to level up to a standard that was never attainable. Trying to constantly please someone who always wanted something different. Constantly trying to change your appearance, to keep someone happy. That wasn’t love. You didn’t know your worth. Love didn’t start at home, so you were so desperate to find “home”. Someone that gave you attention, hugged you and kissed you. However, at the very same time this person was increasing your insecurities and you fell for it. You were in a co-dependent relationship which was so toxic. You got out of that, took a solo trip to London and found yourself. You know your value and worth now, thank the Lord. You also are madly in love with one of the sweetest guys and he values you.

But I wish someone would have told you what true friendship is.

Friendship. It’s convenient when you’re younger. You see people everyday so you have no choice but to build a bond. However, friendship takes work. It’s hard work too. You must check up on that person, schedule in time to see that person, and sometimes bear someone’s burdens. You didn’t know that. You also didn’t know what to look for in a friend. Friendship is not built through gossiping or drama. It’s supporting someone’s goals and being beneficial to their life someway somehow. You know that now and you are super protective of who you let come into your life. You know the difference between being friends and being friendly.

But I wish someone would have told you that your gifts will be used to inspire someone else.

You were and still are super creative. I know you loved to do hair, dance, sew, blog, YouTube, etc. The good thing is none of that was wasted because you continue to do those things today. You started a blog- ToucheDeMode which is now called SoulStyleBeauty. Don’t worry, you still talk about style but your blog has a bigger purpose. It’s a platform where your mission is to encourage people through faith with a dash of style and beauty. You have a passion for the Lord and helping others. Your talents didn’t go to waste not one bit.

I can go on and on about what you should have known. Better late than never right? You’ve learned so much and it shaped you into who you are today. Life is a never-ending journey, with changes, experiences, and lessons. You will continue to rise and fall, but you won’t do it alone. God is certainly with you.



Emari Parsons, Teacher, YouTuber & Influencer,
youtube | twitter | facebook | instagram


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  1. Sounds like we had a lot of similar experiences in finding love and true friendship… I always say I had to kiss a lot of frogs, but it was well worth it to now be in a truly loving, supportive, and respectful relationship… and to be able to look back and know the difference. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Love this Emari,

    It’s so great to see women collaborating and celebrating each other. This is honest and relatable. Thanks for your transparency.

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