I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to you if I had the chance. Especially since I’ve been on this journey of living life a little better than you are right now. It is now 2019 and though only seven years have passed, you’re certainly not the same girl. If I could, I’d go back and tell you all these things when they were most necessary but instead, I’m writing to you now.
First, don’t be so stuck in your ways. Life will quickly show you that you are always evolving, changing, and growing and with each stage of life, it becomes a necessity. Change and growth can and will be difficult sometimes, but you’re not meant to stay static. Your thoughts will change, your outlook on life will change, and YOU will change. So much so, you might not even recognize yourself at times.
It’s okay to question what you’re taught. Think for yourself and decide what it is that you believe and what kind of person you want to be. You can reinvent yourself as often as necessary, and don’t give into the pressure of being someone you’re not. Trial and error periods of your life are also okay to figure out who you are and what makes you happy. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to always be strong, and you won’t always have the answers.
I know you’re currently fighting through depression, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy all while trying to learn how to love yourself. You’ve spent years allowing what others say about you dictate how you see and feel about yourself. And it’s taken quite the tole on you. But, you’ll get through it Butterfly, I promise. Though you may not believe it right now, you’ll eventually learn to think the world of yourself and will confidently be able to say, “I love me.”
Also, don’t be so dramatic. I can assure you that you WON’T be miserable forever and yes life does get better. Much better, beyond anything you could’ve imagined for yourself. Though you’ll still have your bouts of depression and life will soon introduce you to that Anxiety demon, you will no longer spend endless days and night fantasizing about what it would be like to not exist. This, in part, is a result of therapy. Seriously, GO. TO. THERAPY. So many low periods could’ve been avoided had you had the tools necessary to get through them, therapy being one. It’ll change your life, save it even.
Lastly, be selfish. It really is okay. Taking care of you – It won’t make you a terrible person to put yourself first. Protect your mind, body, and spirit from anything or anyone that is not meant to grow you or help you. And don’t settle. Ever. You are so deserving of someone who knows and values your worth and gives you his absolute best because he understands what a treasure you are. Wait for him.