I know this is 4 months late, but I don’t want no sass from you, so I’m going to make this simple, and you’re not going to get creative with these asks, okay?
When Year 25 rolled around, I laid out the lessons I had learned before then. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the stupid ones. There were a bit of those. In my letter to Year 26, I recounted my accomplishments and hoped that year 26 would hand me her best. She did. She handed me her best rock bottom, with a side of risks, and a 10mg dosage of Lexapro. When Year 27 came around, I greeted him with a letter too, but this letter was full of guidelines and rules. That year, I was not to be fucked with. Year 27 followed suit, but handed me a new set of challenges just shortly before his departure. So for you, Year 28, I’m hoping we can do things a little differently. I want us to be partners as I tackle the new set of challenges left from Year 27.
I WANT US TO BATTLE THIS THING CALLED LOVE.
Year 28 was probably one of the worst years of my life. Why? Because Year 28 did exactly what I told her ass to do: help me battle this thing called love. The love I was referring to was self-love, but she decided she wanted to teach me a lesson on all the different types possible. She put me at the crossroads of all of my different loves at the same fucking time, and looked me square in the eyes and said: “You know what to do.”
I didn’t know what to do actually, but fear made my decision factors very easy for me. Because in the scariest moments of life, you reflect on all the people that may be impacted. In the scariest moments of their lives, you don’t think, you just do. It’s anything to save them, and anything to make their pain go away at that point. And in the scariest moments of your own life, you make all the drastic decisions you need to protect your fucking peace and take care of the mind you’re most certainly losing.
After moving in with my significant other, shelling out $25,000+ to save a life, and begging my doctor for a prescription of Lexapro, I learned my lesson of love during Year 28. And found out (yet again), there are people outside of my bloodline that will go to great lengths
for with me.
So for year 29,
let’s skip the dramatics and get right to the implementing of
trusting my gut and learning to live my best life.
There have been several moments in the past few years where I have ignored my gut and my instincts. I’m pretty sure it’s because I am uncomfortable with change and do my best to avoid conflict, but as G Suave The Poet put it this morning on Instagram, “How long are you going to let your pain handicap your blessings?”
In 2018, I’ve quickly come to terms with the fact that my gut will not steer me wrong if I listen to it during my times of doubt, especially when it comes to energies received. I’m all about observing and reading other people’s energy, and I’m especially more in tune with what energies I surround myself with, or are willing to tolerate. You know when something doesn’t sit well with you. Your mind sends your body alerts. You tense up. Maybe feel anxious. Your vibe just feels off.
There’s a reason.
I’m now understanding that not everything will be tucked under my heavy belt of anxiety. Some of it is really simple… such as my gut and my instincts telling me, “this shit is not for you.” So instead of ignoring those feelings, I want to try to adhere to them. And by adhering to them, I’m hoping I can live my best life this year.
I want there to be less saying “yes” to shit I really want to say “no” to. Because sometimes it’s not about the mental health, and all about me simply not wanting to do it. There should be less forcing myself to be social or maintain certain connections, because it honestly just might be an incompatibility, and why force a relationship? Let’s reduce the number of societal impacts, because let’s face it, I really am not interested in fitting in. And there should be a WHOLE lot more of happy Yetti, because I already know what to do to secure my joy, I just get a little distracted in people pleasing and hitting a timeline.
So 29, I need you to do your thing boo. Work your magic, and try and follow the above rules. Because I’m ready for these blessings.
I’m ready for my best me ever.