Day 9: For Sure

30Lday9

What do you know for sure about life and love? Perhaps it’s a lesson that you had to learn over and over again before you got it or a guiding principle that now informs your decisions.

If a man loves you, and if a man see’s a future with you, he will keep it 100 and act upon it.
If a man loves you, if a man cares for you, he will never allow you to settle for less than you deserve.

He won’t use you.
He’ll be consistent.
He’ll express his intentions with no ambiguity.
He won’t lead you to fall, without any intention of not catching you.
He’ll be appreciative of your efforts
He will reciprocate
Do not misunderstand me, he will not be perfect.
But he will be honest with himself, while being honest with you and his feelings for you, and his actions will show this (most of the time, excuse his pride and ego) .

At some point we women chase at least one man that doesn’t want us, whether he seems to know this at the time or not. We misconstrue his words and efforts, we read into things that are not there, and then we fixate on making something happen that he never meant to happen in the first place. We accept less than what are standards are, reduce ourselves to allow for mixed signals, missed phone calls, ignored text messages and all around disrespect for our time and presence. We give more than what we receive, and when thrown a bone, we force ourselves to believe it’s something to be cherished, and ignore it for what it really is… a dinky bone.

[Tweet “A man that wants you will give you the love, care, and attention you deserve, and nothing less.”]

But from comparing what I’ve experienced in the past and to what I know now, a man who wants you around will do everything he can to keep you around. A man that wants you will be intentional with his words. A man that wants you will make this shit as clear as day. A man that wants you will give you the love, care, and attention you deserve, and nothing less.

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3 Comments

  1. “At some point we women chase at least one man that doesn’t want us, whether he seems to know this at the time or not.”

    This. This week marks one year since a particularly emotionally harrowing experience for me, with a man I called my unicorn (for context on that term, this post: http://thoughtcatalog.com/ben-breier/2012/04/who-is-your-unicorn/). It was surprisingly heart-wrenching & terrible to come back from the emotional bullshit he put me through, whether he meant to or not, & I am still not fully recovered from it.

    But I’ll be damned if I ever fall for that again.

    1. KATE. I know exactly the feeling. I had one of those too. But you’re taking control now and that’s all that matters, right? Even through some of the unstable moments we may have lol.

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