Confession: I Moved To New York

Yeah… You read that right. I left Rhode Island and moved to NYC. I’m even switching jobs. I guess you could say this played a role in my hiatus, but as the equation shows, there was a lot more to it. I know some of you are wondering “WTF!?” But trust me I can explain… with a few excerpts from the private tumblr blog I kept for sanity during my hiatus.

When did you move?
– Mid April

Why did you move?
– I hated living in Rhode Island, New England even… hate it, hate it, hate it.

So Why NYC?
– New York makes me feel alive and it reminds me of being home in London (minus the best family in the world). When I am in London, I feel… creative, my ambition is on high, and I fall in love with my surroundings… even the bummy parts. New York gives me that same feeling, not to mention I am addicted to retail and the city’s culture.

– Honestly I needed a change also. I needed to do something for me, not for my parents, not for my friends, not for anyone but myself. I hated NYC before… until I visited… and then visited again, and then explored. It was kind of my way of breaking free.

Why keep it a secret from people?
– Because when I spoke of the idea certain people were just not supportive, including certain family members and close friends. It kind of came out of nowhere and no one really understood the urge. All I heard was, “it’s so expensive”, “it’s dirty”, “this is just a phase” etc. So I kept it a secret and told a handful of people. I only told my parents the week before I signed my lease – (yes I’m a terrible daughter). Keeping it a secret was probably the best thing I could have done for this huge step. I only wanted to be surrounded by people that would be supportive through-out especially since the move may have left me jobless.

I honestly think this is the most jammed-packed week of my life thus far. I have 6 interviews in the next 4 days and I am moving to New York in 2 days. I’ve spent the last few days packing while disassociating myself from the world… because I am scared someone will tell me what I am doing is a bad idea. I’m scared someone will make me change my mind. I’m scared someone will point out the flaws in my plan to force a new life, a new experience.

• Quontay tells me everyday things will be fine, sometimes I feel she’s more excited than I am.
• Though I see the concern through her facial expressions, Shannon tells me the same thing.
• My Aunty Tai reasons with my doubt every other day and assures me I am doing the right thing.
• Even Mom and Dad try and stay positive for me.

Were you scared?
– Yes, yes, and more yes! I didn’t go away for college, I barely went away for my first job. This is the first time I have been “alone” so hell yes I was scared. But there is more to it, my job gave me the okay to work from home a few days a week so I thought this move was going to easy–wrong. After I signed my lease, began to pack and booked my movers they told me they weren’t going to allow me the flexibility. Naturally I panicked… that’s when I took my hiatus, but then after much thought… I decided I was going to do it anyways. Shortly after my move, I got a job offer working in the department of my choice… so things worked out just in the knick of time!

I am beyond scared. I feel utterly alone, though the few people that know about my move throw me SO MUCH support on a daily basis. This is the biggest decision of my life, I can’t sleep over it, I am going against the orders of my boss… and my stomach is in knots. Don’t get me wrong… I am so SO so excited… but (sigh), I don’t want to fail that’s all. Everything is happening so fast. The move, the interviews, She’s A 10! I sort of feel like I’m over my head.

So… how is it?
– I think… this question will have to wait till another day… otherwise this post will be far too long!

So yeah [ exhales ] now it’s out.

P.S – To those of you that supported my every move in this decision I can not thank you enough. You know who you are and I am forever grateful to have such supportive and caring people in my life [ kisses ]. Mom & Dad, I love you guys more than words can describe 🙂