God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
“God won’t give you anything that you can not handle,” sounds nice until you’re on your kitchen floor begging him for some sort of relief. Till you’re buried underneath your own faults and failures, your own lies, and few others that have been told to you. It’s comforting till your sinking fast into a pile of shit that you have been avoiding, neglecting, and even worse, completely oblivious to. It sounds nice until it passes the point of bittersweet to pure bitter, tart, and indigestible.
But it needs to happen, you need to feel the hardness of rock bottom.
Yes, it’s lonely down there. Uncomfortable and cold. Emotions? That’s all you have. They come served with “what ifs” and “whys” and “you’re so stupids.” This is where you question what was. This is the place to question your being. This is the time to unravel, to shatter, to fall apart and to learn from your bruised pieces.
But you deserve this. Yes, this has to happen. So you can remember your core.
Because your core is where your belief system lives. It’s where thoughts are drafted, edited and published. They’ve been tarnished. They have led you astray. They’ve led you to this dark hole, and now it’s time to reprogram. To reset. Not erase. Push that big floating red button. Sweetheart. You delicate, flawed, teary-eyed, beauty. Reprogram and Reset.
Rock bottom isn’t your ideal vacation destination, but you needed to visit here.
No, you can’t stay here forever. This is just temporary. This isn’t a place to live, one can not survive in this kind of darkness. But when ready, you must claw your way out of this dungeon. Choose to do better. Choose to learn from your mistakes. Choose to forgive yourself, and to forgive others. There’s no blame game here, just reflections and learning. But before you dig yourself out of your mess, your pile of shit, choose happiness in every possible way.
Because rock bottom happens when you take your eye of the prize. Rock bottom is formed when you decide to be selfish for the wrong reasons. Rock bottom happens because God sometimes needs to humble you, to test you. Rock bottom is there to show you that you are made of something indestructible. It’s the reminder that you can handle what life throws at you, it’s just going to hurt really badly for a little while.
Whatever the case might be as to why rock bottom becomes your temporary home, know that it was needed for some reason you will understand and cherish later one. Because sometimes rock bottom just needs to happen to remind you that you are gold, that you can always be sparkly and brand new, and that you can withstand the darkest of times.0