30 is not the new 20

What bullshit magazine put this out as a new fad that your 30s is are the new 20s? Seriously. Cut this shit out. The age 30 is not the new 20. 30 is 30, the somewhat midpoint to retiring and that my friend is that. Your 20s are a time of discovery, for fucking up majorly and recovering and learning… and then maybe doing it again. Your twenties partially shape your thirties and the rest of your life. You need your 20s people, let’s not be foolish and pretend that our 30s are an extension of this precious precious time.

They are not.

Let me explain why I feel this way.

For me, moving to college was the time I got to take what my parents provided (or forced upon me, same shit) and apply it without their guidance, their nagging, or their supervision. It was time to make it my own or ditch it for other values. After graduation, it was time to apply my adaption of my parents fundamentals, lessons I learned from personal experiences, and the new foundation of my belief system. In other words, I still had some more questioning and fucking up to do. And now? Well I know where I’m heading, but I am in the midst of enjoying the freedom (no kids! no kids!) and molding myself into the woman I want to be. Let’s get into more detail.

Career:
From the average eye, I have it pretty made right now. I’ve been fortunate enough to get a degree within a timely fashion, multiple jobs, multiple promotions and what not. I figured out a few years ago what my passion was, thanks to this little ol’ blog and a good old fashioned breakdown. Now it’s a matter of testing the waters of how I can make my passion, my lively hood. I understand, finding the direction your career is meant to follow is a toughie, and even that may be an understatement. But once you have it sort of figured out, it’s one step closer to a happier life and one less issue to tackle within your thirties.

Discovering You:
I can’t stress this enough: The sooner you know who you are, love who you are, accept who you are, life gets a little bit easier. The best examples I have of this are my twin aunts, who have been my role models since I was little. Both have a firm grasp on who they are, at least to me anyway. They make a decision, they stick to said decision. They go for opportunities that fit into their life plan, and they bounce back from life’s unexpected fuckery fairy quickly and still love themselves and own decisions throughout it all. All things I believe are results from understanding and owning oneself. This year I have spent a lot of time accepting things about myself that I can not change, owning them then flaunting them. Everything else I see fit to change, I change it. This is such a crucial time for us to mold our ways into positive habits, to tailor what we focus on and to truly become the individual we want to be. I’ll be damned  if I am 30 plus and I’m still having an identity crisis.

Discovering Your Spouse:
I’m going to say what I hear from every older person within my life: Your twenties are for dating. Dating and figuring out what you want in that future husband or wife. I see people daily on my Facebook newsfeed getting married and buying houses at the age of 25 or before, and all I can think is, I hope you’re truly sure that is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage isn’t something to be taken lightly, if you’re fortunate enough to find your soulmate at an early age, kudos to you. You’ve got this figured out already, but if not? Now’s the time to really piece together what you deserve and want in a spouse… or if you even want one at all. I can say at the age of 24 I knew what I didn’t want and would not tolerate from a husband, but it wasn’t till this year that I found out and experienced what I did want and what I deserved. Get to dating!

Experience:
You don’t have it all figured out yet, you’re not tied down to a Vice President role, and you have the ability to club all night and wake up for that 9:00AM meeting. You’d be foolish if you didn’t ride life’s wild ride while you had the open opportunity to. I don’t simply mean party till you sun comes up, because you and I both know I am not a fan of partying. I also do not intent for you to go so wild that it will negatively impact your future. Travel, make friends, make mistakes, test the waters of what you do and do not like. Do what you need to do so you don’t wake up 30 years from now with the urge to do something wild and crazy… that is out of you physical limits. Old age is a bitch.

My twenties, as of right now, serve as a time of exploring myself & the opportunities that come with being young and free from serious commitments. I’m looking for adventures, I’m taking risks, while building a empire that I’m sure will flourish as the years go on. I want to have all of those wild and crazy moments now, get them out of the way before I decide to settle down and have some chocolate babies. I don’t want to have any “I wish I experienced” or “I should  have paid attention to this” moments, which stems from being the baby in my workplace and overhearing far too many conversations about regrets.

I am not saying you must fit it all into twenties either but this delusional bullshit of still being lost yet free within your 30’s must dig a hole and bury itself. At some point you need to try and figure out your path, why not do it now when you’ll bounce back? Utilize the time you have now for some serious self-discovery, enjoy it and do not for the love of bacon and well-made shoes put it off till your 30s. It is not your new 20.