How many of you all stuck to your New Year’s Resolutions?
Better yet, how many of you remember them?
I don’t really buy into the New Year’s Resolution crap anymore. If you want to make a change, you make the change now. You make the change when you really need to and when you think it counts the most. Why put off work till tomorrow, when you know damn well it can be accomplished today? Exactly.
What I do participate in is the process of reflecting on the past and acknowledging my accomplishments, my hardships and events that have shaped me.
I struggled with every aspect of adjusting to life after college which came with emotional trauma, a couple of blows to my self-esteem and a whole lot of weight gain. One thing that did keep me sane was being able to experience borderline living with my ex and being surrounded by him constantly. It helped me tremendously with conflict resolution and compromising while it strengthened the friendship our relationship was built on.
I try not to regret the decisions I have made, but I do wish I paid more attention and researched other opportunities before accepting my position in Boston. It would have made everything I am going through now a little easier or maybe non-existent. Starting a new position with only a handful of the ones I loved the most around made life quite lonely but they were signs to show me that I should start depending on myself a little more and get used to being on my own. I ignored these signs, and have paid for it immensely in 2011.
I’m still struggling with life after college but I’m dealing with it a lot better than the year before. This year has to be one of the most emotional yet pivotal times of my life. You know the saying “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” … well it’s a lie with some truth. Distance made a heart question what it wanted. Distance broke my heart and still has my thoughts, time and heart captured. Distance made me appreciate the friends that make time for my nonsense no matter the time of day. Distance taught me that only I know what is best for me, therefore only I can do what is best for me. And now knowing this, Distance did make the heart grow fonder, but not for someone else… it helped me to grow fonder of myself.
I now know nothing lasts forever, and that I can only control the choices I make. I’m slowly learning to think positively, because I believe the energy you give off goes hand in hand with the type of people, events and opportunities you attract. I’ve learned about what I can physically and emotionally handle, and after hitting rock bottom emotionally I now know I can withstand more than I thought. I’m no longer afraid of risks, but I’m still guarded when it comes to life-changing decisions. Most importantly, I’m learning to love me when others don’t and that is what I am most grateful for.
Well.. the only thing I am certain of is that it can only go up from here. I’ll take everything that I’ve learned this year and apply it to the year to come and know it’ll return me with only great and meaningful events. “Be Great”