So as this week has flown by and I have struggled to maintain my diet and gym routine, I find myself and others constantly asking “Yetti why do you want to lose weight so badly?”. My answer is always different every time I answer this question. It’s a different answer because of how I’m feeling that day. It is a different answer because of the audience I am addressing.
I want to be truthful about this weight loss to myself and everyone else who wants to watch me embark on this journey. So I will be honest here … no matter how shallow, annoying and desperate it may sound. I will direct people here if they’re confused about my drive to lose weight. I will direct MYSELF here when I contemplate giving up.
Lastly I want to be able to come back to this post when I make it to my goal weight and cross every reason of this list.
So here it is:
I Want To Lose Weight
- Because I am New England’s 2nd most wanted shop-a-holic (number 1 is Shannon Shenanigans). It’s really hard to be the serial shopper I claim to be when not everything I want to buy fits me. For those of you that have been reading since January, or those of you that know me personally, I am a fashionista at heart. I have Aunts that are designers, creative directors, etc. Hell my uncle runs Everlast Worldwide … it’s in my blood to be this creative with style. I feel like my weight is stifling it.
- (Shallow Alert) Because I want to be hot god-damn it. I want to be a sexy beast! I want to walk into a room and have people think “My oh my is that b*tch GORGEOUS!”
- Because I hate that face my doctor makes when I step on the scale.
- Because I have SEVEN bikini’s in my closet that are dying to see the sunlight!
- Because when I am intimate with a male, I don’t want my thoughts running off to insecure land. God Bless my ex-boyfriend. He was so patient with me whenever I’d throw a “don’t look at me, I’m fat” hissy fit. It’s not fair to him, and it’s not fair me. And lets face it… you can’t love someone else and expect them to love you if you can’t learn to love your damn self!
- Because I don’t want to be the chubby friend!
- Because (Go ahead judge me, I don’t give a fcuk) I want to be able to dress scantly clad if I mother-effing feel like it. I will be that girl half naked on halloween freezing in a sexy costume, because I have NEVER had the opportunity to do so!
- Because I want to show my mummy that if I, the pickiest eater in the world, can get healthy… so can she!
- Because if I am rejected from a job, a guy, a friend or whatever it may be, I know it isn’t because I am fat.
- Because all the self-esteem and confidence I have disappears when people take a shot at my weight, at my baby hippo gut, at my flabby arms, and at my thunder-thighs. I’m in quite a forward facing position, and where I plan on going with my life I will always be in the spotlight (no-cockiness here, just business). For me to be okay with the world staring at me all the time I need to come to terms with my body… which I wont do till I am a suitable and healthy weight. I used to be in an organization (National Society of Black Engineers) where I was always in a leadership position. It took so many pep talks from my friends and other leaders EVERY single time I needed to get in front of a crowd because I thought they’d all focus on my flabs and rolly pieces. No More.
- Because I simply want to be happy with me… ALL of me
So there it is… in black and white … and purple and yellow. The truth about what runs through my head as I haul ass to the gym and give up all my favorite foods for healthier options!
I wanna turn this into a TAG opportunity, see why other people want their hot bod!
Feel free to leave a comment on why you want to lose weight also!0