[ I curse a lot, I apologize]
I like to isolate when things get rough, I isolate and keep a few avenues of communication open… and the past two weeks? I wanted to drop off the side of the earth. Remember the mess I lightly touched up on in this post? Yeah well, it expanded, and it’s a continuous whirlwind of little shitty events piling up. To tell you the truth, the only reason why I didn’t isolate and fully disappear (just from the blog, sorry guys!) was because I made someone else de-isolate themselves… and they’re taking more of a life-beating than I think anyone I know.
Everybody goes through shit because, well, shit happens. Good shit, bad shit, exciting shit, and absolutely fucking terrible shit. But you know what remains constant? Your being. You… the person that deals with this shit. And how you deal? You have absolute control over that. You can choose to let it happen, and crumble under the unfortunate circumstances, or you can accept your reality, make plans to overcome the bs and fight for a happier day. I have a habit of negatively dwelling on the terrible events, but I also use that to get through that very same terrible event. Probably not the best way to move forward, but I move forward.
I’ve learned a few valuable lessons during the past two weeks of nonsense, hopefully they make sense to you without me sharing too much detail:
- It’s only temporary… the shitty situations. A friend and I say this I think almost everyday for the past week and a half. It’s a constant reminder to ourselves that things will get better, “with time”.
- I come first. Yes, I’ve stated this before, and I really do put me first in most situations, but one of the situations I am facing right now in my life is having to fend for my well-being. My health… is well… my body hates me. And with mounds of medical bills, appointments after appointments, secret hospital visits and being poked at and injected like thanksgiving Turkey … I finally decided to tell my family. Dealing with ongoing medical issues are stressful, and after having a lot come tumbling down these past few weeks, I let my parents in on what’s been going on in my life not because they deserved to know, but because … I wanted my sanity back. I hate having people worry about me, I hate being a burden, and I really hate lying. I’m super private and I am extremely prideful. But I now I know, maybe protecting everyone else from stress is not always what is best.
- People will disappoint you and continuously do so if you allow them to. Even with them owing you $5000 and you giving them a place to lay their head on your dime and your credit, they will abuse it until you finally make it stop. I will no longer give someone the benefit of the doubt. Okay, that was dramatic Yetti, but I am little more skeptical now.
- You have to, have to, HAVE TO make time for happiness. It’s not just going to appear on it’s own.
- Stop hoarding old belongings… and feelings. Forgive, and donate people, forgive and donate.