The search for intimate fulfillment has left me unfulfilled and disappointed in myself for misappropriating my own resources. I fed a hunger I could not even relate to – pouring pieces of myself into someone else’s emptiness. What I considered nourishment, they considered entertainment and for that reason among many, we failed.
The quest for love is a wild goose chase. If you believe that God is love, you must also believe that it will find you. God appears whether you’re worthy or not. You don’t have to search to find what was already set-aside for you because someone already spent their blood, sweat and tears to guarantee that you got what was promised to you. The same is true for love. It’s out there, it knows who you are and it will meet where you stand. When you’re running up and down searching for it, you are eluding it. You are blocking it. You are circumventing it.
But if you stand still with open arms giving the same kind of love you desire to your friends, neighbors, strangers and family members, I have no doubt that love will arrive. Because similar things find each other. Like-minded people attract each other. Love begets more love.
If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t nourish another human being in the hopes that we would end up together. I would nourish them with God at the center of my heart. If I did that I would have seen clearly that what I was pouring into him was leaking through the voids he had not yet let God fill.
Where there is no God in man, there is no man. We cannot become a part of someone who has not been honest in thought and in deed with who they are. If they don’t serve the God they claim, they will most certainly not serve you because the service is where we are all claimed by someone. It’s the actions that make a wife or a husband. It is the action that defines love and it is the action that separates love from its counterfeits.
What I’m saying to powerful men and women is this: love grows in power. Own yours, get comfortable with it and let love find you in it.
I’m a novelist, columnist and event planner hailing from New York City. Everything I do tells a story paying much respect to my subjects. Though I’m more inclined to write, all forms of art intrigue me – which explains the event planning thing. Experiences shape us and writing reminds us of the transformation. Therefore I do it all and everything I do is made with love.