Remember when I planned an event, promoted it like the second coming of Christ, and then didn’t execute it? Yeah me too, and I’ve been beating myself up about it ever since. Life happened. Hell, life tumbled over and fucked me over three times between December and February, and I was forced to cancel my first Certified 10 event, after building up the courage over three years to actually have one. It was done quietly. I suspended registration, sent an apology email to those who had registered, and walked away with my tail tucked between my knees.
I was disappointed in myself. I was disappointed in the process. I was defeated. And for a brief moment in time, I lost faith in the movement I had fought for.
You see, they don’t tell you about this side of success. They don’t tell you that it will hurt this much. That you will struggle this much. That you will fail this much. They don’t tell you about the possible lawsuits you’d encounter before the world even knows your name. Or that someone will completely steal your ideas and reproduce it, claiming to be the originators.
I found out all of this the hard way.
Instead, they teach you that if you work hard, the stars will align. They produce movies highlighting Mark Zuckerberg’s quick ramp up to billionaire. Instead, Oprah tells you to meditate on success with Deepak Chopra, and manifest your dream job and lifestyle. Instead, the world highlights the exceptions that had a dream, and struck gold while implementing it with little to no backlash.
Now I’d be a fool to say that above didn’t exist. Yes, you need to dream big. Yes, you absolutely need to change your way of thinking, meditate even. And okay, sometimes aligning yourself with the right people will get you half way there, but if you’re not one of those exceptions, you’re going to need much more than the previously stated. You need to be willing to fail a few times before you get it right. You need to be able to go without sleep some days, or sometimes in my case, weeks. Sometimes you need to take that ‘L’, and sacrifice attending that party, because deadlines, budgets, and time needed. You need to be okay with the lack of support, because as my friend, Eric, stated to me, “In general, nobody supports anything unless it’s already successful. That’s probably 90 to 95 percent of people, and it’s true even with your closest friends or relatives.”
You need all the above. And conviction. And drive. And discipline. You need the army that is you. You need every single fiber of your being to want to make your goals and dreams work.
And with all of this, you need to have and keep faith.
I’ve had a few amazing examples, (in which I never really paid to attention to until far later on). One being a boyfriend that would work all day, attend classes all evening, and then code all night with his goal and end game as his inspiration. The other was an old coworker, who worked the most odd hours you could imagine in order to build an online business of all of her family’s handmade goods from the Middle East. But my most recent example, comes from my therapist, who decided to be open with me, after I spent our entire session panicking over an event I was afraid to reschedule. It took her 15 years to get her private practice up and running. This year will be the first year that she is completely working for herself and she couldn’t have achieved this without hard-work, a few failing attempts, a few years of an unconventional and unforgiving schedule, and, of course, a heaping serving of faith.
There’s something about knowing that others struggle just as much as you do. It’s comforting, it’s motivating and sometimes it’s the reality check you need to reevaluate your sob story.
I reevaluated mine last week, and let my faith make amends with my fear of failing, my fear of a lack of support, and my fear of not accomplishing this mission. I set a date for another event, with a smaller scope, a smaller goal that doesn’t give me heart palpitations. I set a date because fear can no longer rule whether I succeed or not. I set a date because someone out there needs this event. I set a date because, believe it or not, this is a part of my calling, whatever that may be, and the universe needs this of me, and remember, we never tell the universe no. I set a date because it was the brave thing to do, the right thing to do, and the only way to stand up to self-doubt and fear, because, well, faith will do that to you.
There is only the unwavering conviction that this thing, whatever the thing is, will happen for you. Because, if the faith dies, you die. If the faith dies, the vision withers away. The tribe walks away. The spark eclipses. The faith keeps you from hitting the bottle until you black out. The faith keeps you from driving yourself mad. The faith keeps your feet on solid ground. That is why I have no choice but to keep the faith. – Tyece, No Choice But To Keep Faith
Join us for brunch, networking and professional advice during our first installation of the “Brunch & Learn” series. This series is designed to provide women with the toolkit they need to build and hone their sense of self in order to embrace all that is them in this world.
During this round we will be focusing on the power of positive thinking and combating self-deprecating thoughts through a workshop led by Roe Piccoli, a licenses therapist, followed by discussions, a hands on activity within a safe, judgement environment.
Sign up here: BACK2BASICSm0